Recess (1997)
First episode title: The Break In / The New Kid
How familiar with the show am I?: I watched this all the time as a kid!
Is there anyone reading this who wouldn't know what Recess is? It's about a group of kids led by troublemaker T.J. in a school full of quirky characters, most of whom are only referred to by their nicknames.
Let's start by going through the main cast on this one:
T.J. Detweiler: the leader of the gang, with a backwards cap and freckles, he's the rebel who stands up to authority at every turn. If that doesn't endear you to him, I don't know what will.
Vince LaSalle: he's cool, he's sporty, he's... pretty much the stereotypical black best friend, but I've never known anyone to resent him as a character for it!
Spinelli: only ever known by her surname, for reasons irrelevant to this episode, she's the tough kid of the group, her pigtails and red dress contrasted by her leather jacket. She's also the only member of the main cast not to be voiced by a child - she's played by Pamela Adlon, who we've already heard as Rusty, with a very similar voice!
Gretchen Grundler: the stereotypical nerd of the group, she likes science and long words, and has glasses and big buck teeth.
Mikey Blumberg: the big guy with a big stomach and a big heart.
Gus Griswald... well, he's not in the first segment, and we're going to be thoroughly introduced to him in the second segment, so I'll leave it there for now!
Two-segment episode - you know the drill. The first part is "The Break In". It starts with a close up of some bubbling red liquid, deadly-looking until it zooms out to show that it's being served in a school cafeteria. T.J., Spinelli, and Gretchen are in line, all of them complaining about being served "tomato surprise". As they take their food over to a table to join Vince and Mikey, Gretchen explains it in scientific terms:
Spinelli: It's like acid!
Gretchen: Citric acid, actually. In a carbon base electromagnetically heated to create a synthetic compound which has some... admirable qualities.
T.J.: You mean it's okay to eat?
Gretchen: No, I mean if you let it age it can burn a hole in a concrete floor.
See, Pink Panther and Sons, you can learn a lesson from this show about humorously verbose characters. As Vince's spoon disintegrates to prove Gretchen's point, T.J. decides he's had enough of terrible school lunches, and tells everyone he's going to go looking for the good food the school has been hiding from them. What makes him believe that such a thing even exists in the school, I don't know. Vince thinks T.J.'s idea is crazy, but seemingly just because it's such a risk rather than because there isn't any - everyone else agrees to the plan though, so they all sneak away from their table on their hands and knees, Vince rolling his eyes and coming along with them. I hadn't really remembered this aspect of Vince seeming to be the voice of reason.
They crawl along underneath other tables - there's a bit where Mikey inadvertently jostles a table from underneath, y'know because he's the big one. I should add, and this is going to become clear throughout the episode and especially in the second segment, there's never any malice within this gang about the various quirks and differences they have. No-one gets annoyed at Mikey for being bigger, here - they just move on.
They make it to a door labelled "KEEP OUT" and T.J. enters - it leads to a dark kitchen but a glow in the corner leads him to a bright shining golden fridge labelled "THE GOOD FOOD"! So yes, not only does such a thing exist but the school aren't even subtle about what they're doing. He reaches out to touch the handle... and alarms start going off and lights start flashing all over the room. And now we encounter Miss Finster for the first time. She's an old lady that works at the school and is one of that sort that seems to enjoy being mean to children. T.J. plays innocent, but Finster isn't having it.
They're back in the cafeteria and Finster and T.J. are standing on a balcony overlooking the tables - Finster obviously wants to make an example of T.J., although I'm not sure why that balcony exists otherwise. Finster declares to everyone that T.J.'s punishment for sneaking into the kitchen will be... no recess. Well, I guess that's this show over then!
Hmm, I've just realised that, as a kid, I wouldn't have known what "recess" was without American TV. We called it "break time" here. So for anyone who calls it something else again, recess is the part of the school day when kids get to play outside in the playground. And I guess, since we don't seem to be skipping to the next day, that this school has a recess at some point after lunchtime? I've never known that at a British school - for us it always went classes, break, classes, lunch, classes, end.
In any case, it's time for recess. The shot of the outside of the school is curious - two doors on opposite sections are both labelled "Cafeteria", making it appear that the school has two of them. Kids are running around and playing, and one kid, Randall, runs up to Miss Finster to tell on some girls who had said a bad word - Finster responds by giving him a cookie, which he begs for like a dog, tongue out and all. Randall is a major recurring character who always has this same role as the school grass, but this brief scene is his only appearance in this episode.
While Finster is busy with this, T.J.'s friends sneak over to a window to talk to T.J., who's being kept in the cafeteria. Or one of the cafeterias at least! T.J. is going a bit crazy with the isolation - how long can it have been? - and the others promise to help him escape, but then Finster chases them off. Hiding behind a skip, they debate whether there's any chance of breaking him out, and it seems hopeless.
From here on, the gang spends a while asking different kids from around the playground for help. Guru Kid is a boy who wears his T-shirt on his head and sits on a towel in a meditation pose. When Mikey asks him what they should do, he gives a speech about how a bee can do very little outside of a swarm - Spinelli, Gretchen, and Vince are baffled, but Mikey takes it to mean that all they need to do is get as many other kids to help as possible. Gretchen makes a bit of a maths mistake here. In the previous conversation, she said any attempt at breaking T.J. out would have a 70% chance of failure, i.e. a 30% chance of success, and this is treated as hopeless. But in this conversation, she's excited by the prospect that the help of other kids could increase their chance of success by up to 15%. A 15% increase on a 30% chance is 34.5%... not exactly that much of an improvement on what they had already!
Anyway, the punchline of the Guru Kid bit is that another kid approaches him for advice about passing a spelling test, and Guru Kid starts giving the same speech about bees. In other words, he's giving the same faux-philosophical advice to every kid who asks, and it was only by chance that it worked in Mikey's case. I love it.
So next they ask the Diggers, a pair of identical-looking boys in miner outfits who are already in a big hole they've dug with shovels. They're eager to help dig a tunnel to save T.J. when they're asked, but after they start digging they get in an argument about what the right way is - we only hear them rather than see them, but it sounds like they start whacking each other with the shovels. I, er... I'm glad they're wearing helmets.
Next is the Swinger, a girl in a pilot outfit who's riding on a swing, to an audience of cheering kids. Mikey reckons she'll definitely help because she loves adventure - right now, she's trying to swing all the way over the top of the swing set, as her latest challenge. Unfortunately, they don't even get the chance to talk to her before she goes flying off the swing and crashes somewhere.
Vince: Will she help us?
Mikey: Sure! [crash] ...As soon as she gets back from the nurse.
Presumably the four have asked quite a few other kids for help off-screen, because in the next scene they're embarrassed to have to go to the kindergarteners for help. The kindergarteners are portrayed as a "primitive" tribe with paint designs on their faces and bodies, torn clothes, and they have a regular kid of the main cast's age tied to a pole with rope. Their territory seems to be a little area off to the side of the school building, separate from the rest of the playground, and which they look to have complete control over. They're running around making a lot of noise and there's a drumbeat coming from somewhere. We don't have "kindergarten" in Britain - the equivalent is called nursery - so to me, having grown up with this show, this portrayal is just what "kindergarteners" look like!
Gretchen claims to have been studying kindergarteners and thinks that she may be able to communicate with them. So she and the others approach, interrupting the kindergarteners' activities, and she explains in a loud slow voice that they have come from "the land of the big kids" to ask for help, and shows off a sheet of shiny aluminium foil that she can offer in exchange. Then one of the kindergarteners says to another "Let's eat 'em." and they chase the big kids! I er... think we can assume that the kindergarteners have never actually eaten anyone...
The next place they approach is the territory of King Bob. He's the kid who rules the whole playground, as you might expect. He wears an ice hockey uniform with the helmet cut into a crown shape, and a cape, and he rules from the top of a large jungle gym in the middle of a sandpit, where he sits on an armchair flanked by attendants. In case it isn't clear by now, the actual staff seem to have very little to do with what goes on at recess - the children essentially have their own hierarchies and territories that must have developed over years of playground arguments.
Mikey is scared by the prospect of approaching Bob, but Vince points out that, if they can get Bob on their side, everyone else in the playground will help too. Spinelli, who hasn't really had a chance to show off her violent personality yet, implies she'll beat Bob up if he doesn't help, and Vince has to insist that talking him around will be better.
They apparently get granted an audience with the king, and Vince kneels before him and asks as humbly as possible for his help. Bob practically ignores him, to order a couple of his minions to remove a first grader from the sandpit - it appears they are too lowly to be allowed there. He lets Vince finish pleading his case, and then laughs at him, and rants about the responsibilities of a king and how he can't be expected to help with everyone's problems. Since everyone talks in terms of grades where the hierarchy is concerned, his speech also helpfully informs the audience that the main characters are fourth graders and Bob himself is a sixth grader.
How kids are drawn in cartoons often seems to depend on who the important characters are. Sixth grade is 11-12 years old, but because kids of that age are older than the main characters, they are here drawn more like the way you would expect cartoon teenagers to be drawn, with near-adult proportions in comparison to someone like T.J. If this was a show with a largely older cast, a 12 year old would hardly look any different from a 10 year old.
Bob concludes by referring to T.J. as "some dumb kid". Spinelli is enraged by Bob's response and marches up to him over Vince's protestations - she doesn't actually hit him, but she tells him he doesn't deserve to call himself king of the playground and that he's just "some dumb kid", and Gretchen and Mikey agree. Mikey adds that every kid is some dumb kid to someone else, and other kids who are present concur, mentioning the times they've been called that. Bob relents, and shouts out to the whole playground that "The dumb kid should be freed!"
I don't know how much time has passed by the next scene, but everyone seems to have organised an entire escape plan in that time. With Finster at the door to the cafeteria, kids start signalling each other to put their parts of the plan into action. The Swinger, whose injuries must not have been as bad as they seemed, swings with a rope tied around herself and goes flying off again, this time making use of it to attach the rope to a pipe on the cafeteria roof. A group of kindergarteners (Bob's influence extends even to them?) climb up the rope and are able to remove part of the ceiling with one of their weapons (a big ruler), and they lower Upside-Down Girl (she hasn't appeared yet here but her whole gimmick is hanging upside-down) into the corridor, where she can open an emergency exit and allow Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, and Mikey in.
The four make it to the cafeteria, but the door is jammed. Well, Spinelli says "jammed" - it would make more sense for it to be intentionally locked, wouldn't it? Luckily, Gretchen has a beaker full of the tomato surprise from earlier, and she pours it onto the handle and hinges, dissolving them all! I always love it when it turns out something wasn't just a random gag. They get in and see... T.J.'s hat and jacket, abandoned on a table? And then, out the window, T.J. himself yelling that he's free! Yep, he apparently found another way to escape during all this. And before they can even talk to him about it, Finster walks into the cafeteria to gloat that they're too late - recess is over! That felt like a long recess, but hey, this is Recess...
Afterwards, they're all walking home from school, everyone apologising to T.J. for not getting to him in time, but he is just grateful that they even tried. Then they start talking about all the other kids that helped, and as Vince is listing them he remembers about the Diggers and wonders what happened to them. Cut to BEIJING, CHINA as a caption tells us! We're operating on pure cartoon logic here, people. Both Diggers emerge in a room, calling out for T.J., only to find themselves surrounded by Chinese kindergarteners, exactly like the ones back home, and they chase the Diggers back down the hole!
OK! Second segment, "The New Kid". T.J. and friends are in a class where they're caring for plants that they've been growing for the last few days - Mikey doesn't understand why his hasn't grown until Spinelli points out he's forgotten to put the seed in. Guess the guy's forgetful as well as clumsy. I... I'd forgotten that.
T.J. tells everyone it's time for the plan. Gretchen starts it by calling over Miss Grotke. She's their teacher, she wears big round glasses, and her whole deal is that she's somewhat of a hippie, which tends to illustrate itself almost every time she talks. Gretchen starts enthusiastically talking to her about different soils and fertilisers, baffling her but also keeping her occupied. I like that Gretchen is clearly very interested about the subject as well as intentionally using it as a distraction for T.J.'s plan.
Vince dashes to Grotke's unguarded desk and opens a drawer to reveal a key labelled "the key". He tosses it to Spinelli. Mikey crouches down and allows a bunch of generic kids to climb onto him as a human pyramid, and Spinelli climbs up it to reach a clock on the wall - inserting the key opens it and allows her to move the hands. Weirdly, moving the hands is also shown to change the time on the clock at the front of the school, and presumably therefore on every clock in the school! She moves it all the way from just before 9 to 10, which makes the bell ring for recess, and Spinelli and everyone else all scramble back to where they were. Grotke is confused but just thinks her "inner clock" must be wrong. I'll note that the episode never actually has the staff realise that the school clocks seem to be showing the wrong time and get them sorted out. Presumably they didn't stay wrong forever!
Grotke dismisses the class anyway and everyone runs to the door, only to find their way blocked by an imposing man in a military outfit. He introduces himself to Grotke as "Lieutenant Griswald" and says that he's here to "deploy" his son, who has been assigned to this class. He says that his son's name is Gustav - bizarrely, Vince says that a name like Gustav means he's going to be trouble. Why so judgey, Vince? The Lieutenant steps out of the way to present his son, who is a weedy little kid with square glasses.
The Lieutenant leaves and Grotke asks to hear Gustav's "personal journey", which is her way of asking him to introduce himself. His response is not very enthusiastic.
Gus: Well, my name is Gus, I've been to twelve schools in the past six years, and my only friend is a pet snake named Herbert.
There's an awkward silence. One of the other kids asks if they can go to recess now, and, when Grotke says yes, most of them run away. Gus is confused because it seems too early for recess, but T.J. interrupts to offer to show him around and leads him away before he can give it away. Grotke taps her watch and says she's going to have to stop ordering solar watches from the Whole Planet Catalog, a reference to the real-life Whole Earth Catalog which I didn't know about until just now but looks to have been popular with the hippie type that Grotke is meant to be.
T.J. is explaining some of the groups of kids you will find on the playground to Gus, surrounded by Mikey, Gretchen, and Spinelli, but then Vince approaches and asks to speak to T.J. in private, so the others go off to continue showing Gus around. Vince points out that the rules (that is, the rules of the playground, of course) say you can't even talk to a "new kid" for at least two days. Another instance of Vince coming off as less friendly than the rest of the group. But T.J. blows off his concerns.
Later, while they're explaining to Gus about the kindergarteners and how you should never approach them, Gus starts crying - they think he's scared, but it turns out he's just overwhelmed because no-one at any of the other schools he's been to has been so nice to him. Aww. Spinelli tells him not to worry and that he'll always have friends here, which ends up feeling like just about the most ominous thing she could have said. There's a drum beat from off-screen and people start looking around in surprise, someone yells "Sixth graders!", and we see King Bob approaching, his armchair adapted into a sedan chair and being carried by his attendants.
Everyone bows down - T.J. has to pull Gus down because he doesn't know - and T.J. quickly explains who King Bob is. He tries to tell Gus not to say a particular thing, but gets interrupted by Bob noticing Gus in the crowd and asking who he is. So Bob must know of every kid in every grade, if he notices an unfamiliar face so easily! It is hard being a king! And then Gus makes the mistake T.J. obviously didn't want him to make by saying that he's the new kid.
Bob calls over the previous new kid, a timid boy with lines under his eyes, and declares that he is no longer the "New Kid" and can now be called "Morris P. Hingle" again, which makes him ecstatic. And then Bob picks up Gus and says that he shall only be referred to as "New Kid" and nothing else. Given Morris's reaction... that doesn't sound nice.
What must be the next day, getting onto the school bus, a bunch of other kids push past him to get on, all calling him New Kid, and even the bus driver addresses him as New Kid. When he gets on, he finds everyone claiming that the seat next to them is taken, forcing him to a broken-down old seat at the back of the bus labelled "New Kid". Similarly, in class, when Grotke is taking attendance, even she calls him New Kid! It's hard to imagine she would go along with it if she realised it made him feel bad. And in the playground, when teams are being chosen for kickball, it seems like Gus is just being left till last - a fat kid and a kid on crutches both get chosen before him - but it turns out that the constitution of the playground says that the New Kid can't play kickball! Yes, they don't just have a hierarchy, they have written rules. The guy pulls a whole damn scroll out of his pocket!
Next, it's the evening, and we see Gus's house. It's all military - it has barbed wire and trenches and those rising arm barriers in front of where the car is parked, and so on. Gus brushes his teeth in the bathroom, and sees that the cups containing each toothbrush are labelled "Dad", "Mom", and "New Kid". He yells out "Nooooo!" and that's where that scene ends. Who... who did that in his own house? There's nothing indicating it's a dream or anything like that.
Back in school, Gus is talking to T.J. and the others in the playground. Mikey says that plenty of people have been fine going through life without names. His examples are "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince" (would later get his name back but was accurate when this was made), "The Unknown Soldier" (would not have gone through life without a name), and "The other four guys in the Jackson 5" (I don't need to explain this one, do I?). Gus isn't convinced and walks away grumbling about being nothing but dust in the wind, and T.J. decides it's time to gather every willing person they can find and do something to help.
So the next morning, Gus walks out of his house, and the other kids are all hiding in various places around, using walkie-talkies to communicate, letting each other know that Gus is out. Mikey and T.J. walk up to Gus and casually make conversation, repeatedly calling him Gus, which he's clearly surprised about. He gets on the school bus and the driver calls him Gus, as do all the other kids, and the seat at the back is all repaired and the sign on it now says Gus. And the bus passes a billboard that says "Good Morning Gus!" on it! Just who did they get to help with all this?
They get to school and someone rolls out a red carpet for Gus to get off the bus, a plane flies over head with a banner that says "Have a nice day, Gus!", and Vince conducts a crowd of children chanting Gus's name! Two kids on the roof of the school unfurl a sheet that says "3rd. St. School welcomes Gus!" Oh yeah, that's what the school is called. And then a (fairly rough) statue of Gus is unveiled! Gus is finally feeling like he does have a name after all...
And then, the same drum beats as earlier - King Bob is approaching. Everyone quickly starts reverting the changes. The "3rd. St. School welcomes Gus!" sheet is replaced with one that says "3rd. St. School barely recognises the New Kid." (If you look, the second sheet is already in position ready for that moment when the first sheet is first revealed.) A group of kids pulls down the Gus statue with ropes. And even T.J. calls Gus "New Kid" again. But it's quickly clear what the purpose of all this is.
Gus: I am not a "New Kid"! I am a human being!
T.J.: Don't tell us... tell him. [points to King Bob]
And as Gus marches towards Bob, the other kids are cheering him on under their breaths, "Gus! Gus! Gus!" He blocks the way of Bob's chair, and when Bob demands to know what the delay is, Gus angrily tells him about how bad he's had it all his life, how he's always been treated differently for being new at every school he's ever been to, and how T.J. and his friends made him feel welcome for once but Bob took it away again, and he's not going to stand for it any more. Bob, irritated and just wanting him to get out of the way, asks what his point is, and Gus asks for his name back... so Bob says he can have it! It's funny how both segments of this episode result in the kids having to convince King Bob to let them have what they want, even though it happens quite differently in each.
Everyone cheers for Gus and carries him off, but then former new kid Morris comes up to Bob, complaining about how Gus only had to be the new kid for a few days whereas Morris had to for three years. Wow, no new students in all that time? Bob shrugs it off and says he should have said something, and that's where the episode ends!
Well, I loved Recess as a kid, and I still love it. There are some other major characters noticeable by their absence here, like the Ashleys and Principal Prickly, but of course this show has quite a large cast so any random pair of episodes is likely to leave some people out. I have no complaints!