DuckTales (1987)
First episode title: Don't Give Up the Ship
How familiar with the show am I?: I had heard of it a lot but somehow never watched any of it.
Donald Duck famously has three nephews: Huey, Dewey, and Louie. But he also has an uncle named Scrooge McDuck. And this show is barely about Donald but is very much about his relatives, in stories based on the comic book works of Carl Barks.
DuckTales, of course, has one of the catchiest theme songs of all time, even for someone like me who didn't actually watch it as a kid. Not much else to say about that part except go and listen to it!
The episode starts with a quick pan across the city of Duckburg, while the voice of Scrooge McDuck sings an "Old MacDonald" parody about how much money he has. Scrooge, if you couldn't guess from "McDuck", has a strong Scottish accent. And when we actually see him... Well, if there's only one thing you already know about Scrooge McDuck, it has to be this. Yes, we first see him about to dive into the huge pile of coins in his vault and swim in it. He's even got a stripy swimming costume for the activity.
He talks to himself a bit about how much he loves swimming in his money bin, but then there's a bleep and he takes a pocket watch out from inside his swimming costume. It has pockets inside? It's displaying 9 o'clock and there's a design of a checkout counter till on it. Scrooge says he's late, and he dives back down into the money to emerge back up wearing his normal clothes, like he has a spare outfit buried down there for this exact scenario. His outfit includes a top hat, coat, cane, and spats without any actual shoes. Like his more famous nephew, he goes bottomless, although the coat lessens the effect.
Outside we get a couple of scenes demonstrating how cheap Scrooge is. A dog woman in the street - it seems most citizens of Duckburg are either dogs or ducks - asks for a donation to the poor, which Scrooge angrily refuses, and a pig selling cheese is also rebuked until she points out the samples she's offering are free, at which point Scrooge scoops the entire tray into his hat. You know, if I was rich, I'd take full advantage and buy all the nicest foods. Scrooge notices the time on a nearby clock tower and realises he'll have to spend money on a taxi, gulping as he does so. He does happen to grab a coin from the change slot of a public telephone, though.
The next scene is at a port, with Donald Duck himself and the three nephews. Donald is exactly how you'd expect him to be, with his barely-comprehensible way of speaking. And this time his sailor outfit isn't just a fashion choice, because he's off to work in the navy, hence why he'll be leaving his three nephews with Scrooge. The three nephews wear colour-coordinated caps and tops and have a similar kind of voice to Donald but toned down (and of course younger). They probably have some individual personality traits of their own if I was to look further into the franchise, but in this particular episode they are pretty much interchangeable. The nephews are all sad to have to leave Donald and they are complaining about how cheap Scrooge is and how staying with him will be no fun.
When Scrooge arrives in a taxi, he pays the driver two dollars. When the driver complains about the lack of tip, Scrooge throws in some of the cheese samples! Scrooge complains just as much as the kids about having to take care of them, but Donald says Scrooge is the only person he'd trust with them. There is a slapstick moment as Donald throws his bag onto the boat and gets dragged along with it, landing on another sailor. Now that there's no rush, Scrooge insists that they don't need a taxi to get home and that they should walk the entire three miles! I can't tell how old the nephews are, but I could never walk that. And for lunch... they'll be having cheese.
They all arrive at Scrooge's house, where the boys meet Scrooge's butler, Duckworth. Despite his name, Duckworth is another one of the anthropomorphic dogs. Maybe his family have always been butlers to the McDucks, and were named for it?
Seeing the butler and the size of the mansion (which is a separate location from the vault building we saw before) makes the nephews think that living here might actually be nice. But then we cut to them in their room, complaining that the last three days have been boring, that their room is in the attic and that they're not allowed to do anything fun in the house.
Duckworth comes into their room, and the boys ask where Scrooge even is - they haven't seen him since they arrived, Duckworth having been put in charge of them, which he doesn't like any more than they do. Funnily enough, given what I said already, Duckworth can't tell the boys apart, hesitating when responding to one of them and having to be reminded that the blue one is Dewey.
Duckworth is there to give them a letter from their uncle Donald, and so we get to see what he's been up to in the navy. The animation intentionally gives us the impression that he's flying a fighter plane that's landing on an aircraft carrier, but it turns out he's just doing cleaning work on the boat. The letter makes him sound more impressive than he actually looks, like when he spills a bucket of water on the admiral and the letter just says that the admiral has taken a personal interest in him. This jibes with what I know of Donald's personality, making himself look like he's doing better than he is.
The talk of fighter jets inspires the imagination of the three nephews, and they go to a big hall somewhere in the mansion where they play at being in the navy by pushing Dewey around on a trolley, but it goes out of control and he smashes into some valuable-looking tableware. Scrooge, working at a desk somewhere else in the house, flinches at the noise. You would think, with his personality, that he would be concerned about the loss of something valuable over anything else, but he's only bothered by the noise, and decides to go to the office so that he can work without distractions.
The boys spot Scrooge through the window and say that it's their chance to speak to him, but when they try to leave the house, Duckworth stops them, saying he has orders. Then it fades to the outside of the big vault building, and I was a little bit confused at first here because it shows the nephews following Scrooge in without making it clear he doesn't know they're doing that - they don't seem to be sneaking or anything. Inside, where more dog-people are working at desks, Scrooge shouts at a worker for whistling on the job and Huey gets his attention to tell him to lighten up, at which point Scrooge is surprised to realise the boys are there and everything becomes clearer.
Huey, Dewey, and Louie: We missed you, Uncle Scrooge!
Scrooge: Missed me? What'd you throw at me?
He asks why Duckworth didn't stop them and we see that Duckworth, back at the mansion, is tied up inside a rolled-up carpet, complaining that this will delay dinner. So it's going to be more than just cheese samples, then? Scrooge tells them they can have a look around as long as they don't touch anything, so they immediately go to the vault and start "fishing" for notes in the pile. I would have thought the vault would be a place you couldn't just walk into, even for employees, let alone unattended children! When Scrooge confronts them, they swear they were going to put the money back, but their lack of respect for money makes Scrooge wonder what Donald has even taught them. As they leave, Scrooge says he'd rather face the Beagle Boys than the three nephews, which is a nice transition into...
A prison cell, containing three near-identical dogmen in hats and eye masks. One of them is making tally marks on the wall, but not to count how long they've been inside as you'd expect - he's just worked out that they've now attempted to plunder Scrooge's vault 299 times, and, as one of the others says, the 300th time's the charm!
A guard shows up with a box of "bonbons" someone has sent them, and one of the Beagle Boys greedily gulps one down only for it to explode inside him, as they're actually bombs! This show is just cartoonish enough for that not to kill him. It's also just cartoonish enough for the bombs to look like round things with visible fuses, albeit covered in chocolatey bits to make the deception work. Inside the box is a note from "El Capitan" telling the Beagles to escape using the bombs and then meet him at "L'Orange" theatre, and they don't know who El Capitan is but they're glad for the help.
Scrooge has a nice big office at his work, and it seems a pastime of his when he's bored is to allow solicitors asking for money into the office so that he can kick them out in various ways - people approach collecting for charities only to fall in a trap door or be washed out of the office on a jet of water. But then one duck in a military outfit comes in collecting for the "Junior Woodchucks", a scouting organisation. Scrooge has a pair of giant mechanical hands prepare to drop him out of the window, but when he makes it clear that his organisation is about keeping boys busy collecting merit badges, Scrooge sees his opportunity to get the nephews out of his hair. Er... feathers?
Speaking of the nephews, they've found a "museum" section of the building, full of historic artefacts, and they see a miniature wooden boat that they think Donald would love. Despite their earlier insistence about the money, this almost makes it sound like they are okay with stealing. In Scrooge's office, the scoutmaster, still held in the mechanical hands, has just finished giving Scrooge all the kit for three people to join the Woodchucks, including hats (in the style of coonskin ones with the tails, but perhaps made of woodchucks?) and a guidebook. The museum alarm goes off and Scrooge, rushing off, tells the scoutmaster "Bill me", evidently considering this one rare good use for his money - but he also still presses the button to let the hands throw the scoutmaster out of the window anyway!
Scrooge arrives in the museum and saves the boat from the antics of the nephews, who freely admit they were going to give it to Donald, and Scrooge tells them they're now grounded. I mean, it seemed like he already wasn't letting them out of the house before, so is this much of a change?
In the jail, the Beagle Boys use the bombs to blow their way out of the cell, although the one who ate one of them earlier is asking if he can have another! Alarms also go off here, but the Beagles get away and arrive at the rickety old theatre where El Capitan's letter said to meet him. When he shows up, he's a dogman with a moustache and a Mexican(?) accent, but he is also using a hat and trenchcoat to hide his full appearance. He says that he's contacted them to steal something from Scrooge McDuck, something more valuable than his huge pile of money. Doubting this, one of the Beagle Boys describes the money bin as "three cubic acres of cash". Either he can't do maths, or Scrooge's money bin extends into six dimensions. And then El Capitan says the treasure he's after is a small wooden ship...
That night, the nephews overhear Scrooge telling Duckworth how annoyed he is about having to take care of them, and they decide they're going to leave, sneaking out with all their luggage. So they're not there to hear the next bit. I kind of wondered if they were going to somehow do the old gag where it turns out he wasn't talking about them, but that wouldn't really have made sense anyway. What actually happens is, he admits that they remind him of himself at their age and concludes that he's been too harsh on them, and decides he'll make it up to them.
The nephews, walking along the street in the dark like no children their age should, are hoping somehow that Donald will take them back. What, are they about to go out to sea? But then they spot the disguised figure we know as El Capitan looking towards the vault building, and they can see that someone is moving around inside, so they go to investigate. I guess they just leave their luggage lying around somewhere outside because it vanishes at this point. Then, they spot the Beagle Boys.
Bigtime Beagle: How do I know where the little wooden ship is? What do I look like, a little wooden sailor?
Yes, they do have individual names, although they hardly come up at all here so I haven't really bothered to internalise them. The Beagles spot the ducklings and start chasing them, so the nephews grab a nearby emergency hose and use it to trip the villains up! The nephews get the idea to go to the museum room and grab the boat in order to set off the alarm. It kind of makes sense, but if they had been paying attention they would know that the Beagles don't actually know where the ship is and so leading them to it is a pretty bad idea right now. It's an understandable mistake for a child to make though, especially in a panic.
The Beagle Boys manage to grab the ship from them and flee with it, and so, unfortunately, Scrooge shows up to find only the nephews, who at some point in all the confusion have managed to grab the map the Beagles had used to navigate the museum. We see them later in the boys' room, Scrooge angry at them for breaking in and then "lying" about the Beagle Boys being there. He especially can't believe that the Beagles would break in only to take just the boat and no money, especially since the nephews had already tried to grab that same boat. You've got to admit, it looks bad for them.
Scrooge says he needs to go to bed now because of an interview at his candy factory tomorrow. This seems a bit random but it will be important later so don't forget it like I did. When Scrooge leaves the room, Dewey notices that the back of the map is a flyer for L'Orange theatre, and they realise the Beagles must be using it as a base. So the boys put on their Woodchucks hats and look in their guidebook for ideas. It feels a little weird that this is the next mention of that after Scrooge signed the boys up for it, like we've skipped a key scene of the nephews actually being introduced to the Woodchucks.
Duckworth is guarding the way out of their room, so they use some advice from the guidebook to craft a hang glider out of objects in their room, which safely carries them down out of their window until Louie admits he forgot to read the "chapter" about landing - a whole chapter, in a book on all different subjects? - and so they come to a crash landing in a pond. Oh well, ducks should be at home in one of those anyway!
The nephews sneak into the theatre. The Beagles and El Capitan happen to be having their covert meeting around a table on the stage itself, ironically giving the ducklings a great view from the audience seats!
The criminals are arguing because the deal was supposed to be the Beagles' freedom for the wooden boat, but now that the Beagles have stolen the boat they want to know why it's so valuable before they'd just hand it over to El Capitan. He refuses to talk so Bigtime threateningly holds a lit match close to the ship, at which point El Capitan cracks and admits the model actually acts as a map, one that leads to a sunken ship full of gold. But the map is in a code that not just anyone can understand, so it would be worthless to the Beagles without El Capitan to help them anyway. At least, that's what he says. He doesn't come across as the most trustworthy character, to me.
The ducklings sneak over to a rope tied up to the side of the stage, and Louie unties it, bringing a sandbag crashing down right onto the table where the criminals are sitting, and improbably launching the model ship right into the hands of Dewey! Huey unties another rope that brings a prop wall crashing down in front of the pursuing Beagles, but the ducks' escape is blocked by El Capitan, quite threateningly holding up a chair and a bottle. This could potentially get unsuitable for child viewing!
With El Capitan approaching the kids from one side, the Beagle Boys tear a curtain from part of the set on the other side and throw it over the ducklings. But the bulge in the curtain doesn't stay there, and the Beagles pick it up to see that the ducklings have gone. Bouncing around to check the stage for a trap door, the Beagles fall right through it and land in a heap on a pile of mattresses below, as the ducklings escape through an emergency exit. Yes, this is somewhat of a deus ex machina, although that's almost appropriate if you know the origins of that phrase, given that a theatrical mechanism is involved.
Huey: How'd you know there was a trapdoor there, Dewey?
Dewey: I didn't!
El Capitan screams at the Beagles to chase the ducks, saying he can't lose the boat "again". Yes, there is definitely some backstory here we haven't gotten to see. The nephews flee up a fire escape and Louie wishes Scrooge was here, because of all his previous victories against the Beagles. That's when Huey remembers that Scrooge is at his candy factory right now. Told you. The boys escape down one of those big roof vent pipes, and the biggest of the Beagles gets stuck trying to go through it.
At the candy factory in question, Scrooge is showing a news reporter (dog woman) and camera operator (duck man) a big vat of chocolate and claiming that it holds enough to make a bar the size of his money bin. I guess he means this is the pure chocolate and there's a bunch of other stuff you'd need to add to make a bar, because the vat is nowhere near as big as that. He also explains a bit about how he made his fortune - he puts a lot of emphasis on how he made it all fairly, I guess to contrast him with the villains we're seeing around.
Intercutting between the different groups of characters, we're shown El Capitan climbing the fire escape trying to catch up with everyone, the nephews balancing on a telegraph wire trying to escape from one building to another, and Scrooge being asked by the interviewer about his family. He starts off by thinking that he's pretty lonely, until he remembers about his nephews. At that moment the Beagle Boys are breaking the wire that the nephews are balanced on, and the three ducklings inadvertently swing right through the window into the candy factory, into a vat of probably-caramel, right when Scrooge had just said he wished the interviewer could meet them! It's hard to tell how sincere Scrooge was being given his last interaction with the boys, but he's about to get confirmation of their story anyway.
In quick succession, one of the ducklings yells to Scrooge that they got his ship back, and the Beagles burst in through another window and land in a vat of round sweets - actual bonbons this time? They and the sweets get tipped out and the Beagles end up rolling all around the floor as the interviewer's cameraman films them. The nephews try to explain to Scrooge about the boat being a map, but now that Scrooge has seen the Beagles he knows that things are serious. He asks the boys to leave, but when they insist on staying to help with the fight, Scrooge isn't like a typical parental figure character and is happy that they want to help!
The Beagles have managed to stop falling around on the sweets now, so they chase Scrooge (who has the boat now) as Dewey puts together some stuff from the factory and is able to fire a pie at two of them with a makeshift catapult. Scrooge pulls a lever that drops them through a trapdoor. A trapdoor made sense in the theatre, but I'm not sure why a candy factory needs one! Scrooge says they've landed in hot caramel, which I assume is a separate vat from what the nephews landed in as the Beagles have a much more panicked reaction.
But the remaining Beagle, Bigtime, manages to grab Huey, threatening him but only vaguely, because he can't say he's gonna kill him on a show like this. Scrooge whispers a plan to the other two nephews, and then goes over to Bigtime and says he'll hand over the boat in exchange for Huey, as Bigtime's caramel-coated comrades reunite with him. As soon as Scrooge and Huey are clear of the Beagles, the other two nephews pull a lever, and the big vat of chocolate from earlier pours out all over the Beagles! They're swept up in a wave of chocolate and they lose the boat, and the news reporter gets a nice lot of footage of it all.
Scrooge tells the boys he should have trusted them about the boat and jokes that he'll let them move from the attic to the garage - presumably he actually has a better idea in mind for their new room. Then the scoutmaster guy shows up, having seen what was happening on the news, and awards the ducklings a bunch of badges. Good thing they happened to be wearing those Woodchuck hats!
Indicating the boat, Louie suggests the next badge they should try to obtain is the one for treasure hunting. I wonder if they'd be able to decode the map without El Capitan's help. Scrooge tells the kids to "give me four", since the ducks are drawn with typical cartoon four-fingered hands, although I usually associate the specific gag of updating common phrases to work with four fingers with The Simpsons, which this show pre-dates.
Speaking of El Capitan, he's lurking nearby, talking to himself about how he's still going to get the treasure before Scrooge does. And that's where we leave that plot, because this episode is part one of five!
So that's DuckTales! It was pretty good overall, and I particularly enjoyed the portrayal of Scrooge.