Denver, the Last Dinosaur (1988)
First episode title: Denver, the Last Dinosaur
How familiar with the show am I?: I hadn't heard of it before.
What happens when four teenage boys discover the only known living dinosaur in the present day? This show both asks and answers that question. In quite a lot of detail, since this first episode is over 45 minutes long!
The opening is a very catchy song about how cool Denver the Last Dinosaur is. I won't dwell on the opening sequence too much because I'm pretty sure everything in it shows up in the actual episode - even the song! - but I will note that there's one inaccurate lyric saying that "we don't really care if people stop and stare", when the actual episode is mostly about preventing anyone from finding out about the dinosaur, as we'll see!
The episode starts with a pan across Hollywood - it's so convenient that it's the one famous place that's labelled in big letters - and then we get some shots of skateboarders and the noise of kids playing. Someone in the commotion definitely does the "hahahahaha, Wipeout" from the start of "Wipe Out" by the Surfaris.
A narrator, who is quite clearly played by Tress MacNeille even if the internet seems to disagree, introduces us to four boys - Mario, Jeremy, Shades, and Wally. We'll learn more about them as we go, but what we see immediately is that Mario and Wally are on skateboards and Jeremy and Shades are on bikes. In other words, they're all pretty fucking cool.
They arrive at a museum at the La Brea Tar Pits, a real-life famous place for finding the fossils of animals trapped in tar, which notably does not include any dinosaur fossils. Oh well. They're there because Jeremy, specifically, is studying for his exam on natural history - I'm not sure if that means none of the other boys are in his class, or perhaps he's just the only one taking that subject?
They see a mammoth fossil, and this is when we start to get some idea of their personalities - Shades jokes that the mammoth looks like the algebra teacher Mr Moreno, and Mario adds that Moreno is older than the fossil. So, the two of them are both jokesters.
Jeremy, notebook in hand, lets them know that the mammoth is thousands of years old. It's clear from the writing that he's meant to be the "geek" of the group, which makes his design surprising - with his broad shoulders and the number 1 on his jersey, he looks more like a sports jock, and you might expect the bespectacled Wally to be the nerdy one. Anyway, Mario then needlessly explains the joke, making it clear he really did mean that Mr Moreno is thousands of years old.
Shades and Mario, cool kids that they are, decide they're done with the museum and leave Jeremy and Wally behind to go and have a skateboard vs bicycle race. Mario wins! There's a recurring thing with shots from the front of biking/skateboarding in this episode where they look really weird - I think they were using some kind of primitive CGI for the backgrounds in those shots, but it's not so much the backgrounds that look weird as the compositing of the cel animation onto it.
Then a girl called Casey shows up on a scooter. It's clear from the different ways she greets the two boys that she has a crush on Mario, for which Shades briefly ribs him.
Casey: So, what are you guys doing, huh? Can I play?
Mario: Play? This is serious business. Not G-I-R-L stuff!
Shades: Yeah, not girl stuff!
Thanks Shades, I wouldn't know what G-I-R-L meant otherwise. Casey rides off in a huff, understandably, promising not to fix the boys' dirt bikes the next time they need it - I guess we're establishing her as the mechanic of the group, for whenever that might be needed in future episodes.
Back at the museum, a bigshot in sunglasses and jewellery is trying to get the museum curator to sell him a big dinosaur statue, for a show of some kind called "Rockin' Dinos". When he's turned down, he walks off, grumbling to himself. His voice is definitely an impression of Rodney Dangerfield, and his name?
Fizzback: Nobody refuses a deal from Morton Fizzback, the greatest rock promoter in the Western Hemisphere! [leaves]
Wally: Geez, what a weasel.
Great name. And real subtle exposition there.
Now, all four boys are outside taking a look at the tar pits themselves. Like in real life, there are replica animals around the place. Jeremy knowledgeably informs everyone that the animals in the museum were preserved in that tar for "zillions" of years. He was closer with "thousands" before.
That's when a gang of bullies shows up. Four other boys, led by a guy called Nick, joke about pushing Wally into the tar, and Shades' idea of a witty retort is to imply that that's where Nick came from in the first place. I love how the heroes and the bullies are all equally bad at this whole childish insult thing.
A couple more insults are traded, and Jeremy steps in to say that they don't want any trouble - one of Nick's friends retorts that it's too late for "apologies", which no-one was trying to do but OK, and he throws Jeremy's notebook into the tar. Now that is unnecessary.
Shades whispers to the other boys that they should use "Plan A". He draws a line in the dirt and dares Nick to look him in the eye and step over it, and so Shades has his iconic shades lowered for a second. This dare enables Mario to slip his skateboard under Nick's feet while he's not looking, causing him to fall over. A bizarre trick, and really not what you'd expect their "Plan A" to be!
The boys get on their bikes and skateboards before the bullies can react, and start speeding off - the two skateboarders even jump over Nick! They end up going through a gap in the fence marked "Keep Out" as the bullies fail to notice and run off in the wrong direction.
So, they're in some fenced-off area of the tar pits. It's not obvious why this bit is separate from the rest - it looks nothing like the pits they were looking at before. It's mostly just sand, but there's also a hole conspicuously containing a large tar-coloured egg-shaped object - none of them seem to notice the object for now though, even as they start talking about the hole, so maybe it's exaggerated for the viewer's benefit.
Wally reckons they almost got killed just now, but Mario says they would easily have gotten away because they could have jumped the hole. To demonstrate, he grabs Jeremy's bike - what, you don't think you'd make it on your skateboard, then? - and charges towards the hole as everyone urges him to stop. He doesn't make the jump, and crashes into the egg-like object.
Jeremy goes from berating Mario for getting tar on his bike, to wondering what the object is, calling it a "hardened tar egg", and lowering himself down into the hole along with Shades and Wally. The egg begins to pulsate and crack, and what emerges is...
Well, you can guess, right?
The boys all run screaming away from the dinosaur, but Wally quickly notices that it too is cowering in terror. Wally being good with animals seems to be a major character trait of his. He tells it to "come here, boy" - I guess no-one's going to stop to actually check the dinosaur is male - and the dinosaur starts licking his face like a dog, and all the boys are relieved that the dinosaur is actually friendly. He licks everyone else's faces too! In case you wondered, the dinosaur doesn't talk - he just makes cute noises.
Then, just outside the fence the boys entered through, Morton Fizzback happens to be wandering past. He's still grumbling about being turned down before - has he literally been doing that this whole time?? Then he looks through the gap in the fence, spotting the boys and the dinosaur...
Jeremy theorises that the dinosaur was somehow sealed in the egg and kept in suspended animation. That's how tar works, right? He also said that the egg has come back up to the surface due to the "shifting of the planet" - he means like the continents moving right, not just the fact that the Earth turns? It's weird how they try to make Jeremy sound nerdy but so often fail at making sense with it.
So the boys start talking about what they could do with a dinosaur, suggesting taking him to parties or putting him on the football team. But Wally, being the voice of reason here, points out they might need to keep him a secret, for fear of people trying to take him away. Unbeknownst to them, they're being watched by just such a person, as Fizzback - again talking to himself - implies that he is going to try and make money off this dinosaur if he can get his hands on it.
The boys decide to name the dinosaur. Jeremy says that it should be an unusual name because he's probably the last of his kind. Perfectly sound logic. Mario wants to call him "Dasher", and Shades rejects that name because it's the name of a reindeer. Uh, so? I'd call a dinosaur Dasher, why not? Shades' suggestion is "Scales" - what a surprise from a kid named "Shades".
Then a bus stops by a gap in the fence, causing the dinosaur to cower in fear on the floor, holding his tail. On the side of the bus is an ad for skiing in Colorado - "See Denver!" - and, in a very weird coincidence, the pile of snow in the ad looks exactly like the dinosaur's cowering form!
Shades refers to him as "Denver the last dinosaur" - hehe, he said the name of the show - and the dinosaur very much seems to like that name!
Then the discussion turns to where they're going to keep Denver. According to Shades, Wally has so many pets already that his parents probably wouldn't notice if he brought home a dinosaur. Wally obviously doesn't think this is likely, but he also obviously has the closest connection to Denver already, so he says they can keep him there until they work out somewhere better, as Denver starts licking his face again!
Fizzback has been watching all this the whole time, and he says that the best place for Denver is in his Rockin' Dinos road show, declaring that the dinosaur will soon belong to him! Are you surprised he's the main bad guy? Then, we fade to the first ad break.
The ad transitions, telling us that Denver will be back and that Denver is now back, are read by different characters each time, and change to match the story - much more thought out than the average bumper. This time, the "Denver will be back" message is read by the narrator, and the other message is announced by Wally.
Speaking of the narrator, we hadn't heard from her for a while, but she's back on the job as the next segment starts, telling us that the boys had been thinking of a way to get Denver to Wally's house through Hollywood unnoticed. By happy coincidence, there's a movie-themed parade on - in amongst all the actual floats containing cowboys, jungle explorers, aliens and robots (the latter two apparently being from Space Wars IV), there is a dinosaur accompanied by boys on skateboards and bikes! (Well, Wally is riding the dinosaur - I don't know where his skateboard is.)
A middle-aged couple start having a conversation about the dinosaur - the wife says that it looks alive, but the husband reassures her it's mechanical, and that it's "one of those Dinamation things". I didn't realise they were namedropping a real company here and thought that the writers had just made up a term for some reason, but it looks like it was a real thing. Anyway, just as he's explaining this, Denver eats the guy's ice cream! He sure looks shocked at that!
Now we're finally at Wally's house. There's a small dog barking - Wally comes out from behind the bush it's barking at, greets the dog as "Rocky", and pets it. Wally checks that none of this family are home before calling everyone else to come out - Rocky is, of course, surprised by the appearance of Denver! He cowers behind Wally, but Denver looks at him with a smile on his face and he immediately seems to cheer up! Phew, I'm glad the dog and the dinosaur like each other. Then Wally says they can keep Denver in the poolhouse - like a little shed next to the swimming pool - because no-one ever goes in there. Do you live in a mansion, Wally?
So they go in the shed and eat some snacks. Denver hilariously opens a bag of crisps perfectly, eats the crisps from out of it, and then eats the bag itself anyway! He's a silly boy. As he's doing that, Jeremy is talking about how it would be great if Denver could somehow show them all what things were like back in the times of dinosaurs.
In an astonishing coincidence, he can! He takes a fragment of the tar egg from Jeremy's backpack and holds it out, the boys all touch it, and it magically begins to show them images from Denver's home time period. It's a little bit weird that this is the only instance of something magical in the whole show, but it's even weirder that the narrator chooses to call this a "mystical flashback"! Yes, she actually calls it a flashback!
The sequence itself is also narrated, although the narrator might as well be reading from an encyclopaedia as we're just told some basic facts about various dinosaurs. About the only thing we're told that's actually going to be relevant later is that the Tyrannosaurus Rex is the largest meat-eating dinosaur. Cool animation, anyway. At the end of the sequence, the narrator calls it "Denver's first flashback", so I'm guessing these became a regular feature.
Back to the present, and the boys are playing water volleyball in the pool, with Denver and Rocky watching from the sidelines. Unseen by any of them, a teenage girl on a bicycle rides into the house's garage - another apparently free-standing building independent of the main house. Seriously, this is one big place!
The ball bounces away from the pool and towards the garage, so Rocky and Denver run in there to get it... and then there's a scream from inside!
Wally: ...I think Denver just met my sister.
Cut to inside the garage, where the girl, who Wally refers to as Heather, is threatening the dinosaur with a tennis racket. She asks Wally what it is, he says it's Denver, and she says she wants to know what it is, not where it's from. Is this the meta-reason why he's called Denver? So they could do jokes where his name gets confused for the place name? Anyway, once they explain that the dinosaur is friendly, Heather just seems to accept his existence - everyone relevant seems surprisingly willing to believe that there could be a living dinosaur, but I suppose it would take up too much time in the episode if they had to convince each new character.
Heather says that their parents had already told Wally not to bring home any more animals, but he convinces her not to tell them, aided by Denver's puppy-dog eyes. She's still concerned about where Wally would be able to keep the dinosaur, though, until she comes up with the solution herself - apparently the old gym at school is empty but won't be torn down for a few more months. That's convenient!
Wally asks Heather to take a picture of all the boys with Denver, handing her a Polaroid-style camera. (For the zoomers around here, this was a camera that would print out your photo the moment you took it, which was amazing in the days where most cameras would have no way of showing you how your pictures would look until you got the film developed, which could be weeks later.) Denver is frightened by the flash, but the picture comes out well - although Mario's barely in it!
Mario: Hey, it came out pretty good!
Shades: Yeah, considering your face is in it.
Mario: How would you like your face as flat as this picture?
Ah, the best of friends. Wally gives Denver the photo to keep, and then Heather asks how they're going to get Denver over to the gym. I guess there's no coincidental parade this time!
There's a transition, and then the boys are looking at Denver, who we can't see, and commenting on how silly he looks. No... they can't have tried to disguise him, can they?
Yep, they have. Shades completes the outfit by giving him some shades - a spare pair? - and then we zoom out to see what else he's wearing. An orange mohican that is presumably made from the end of a broom, a scarf, and a long army coat that extends down his body and back along his tail, too!
So now the four boys, Heather, and Denver are walking along together. They see an old woman, and Wally warns them all of the "nosy Mrs Meeks", but she sees them before they can escape. Wally tries to play it cool and just say all the boys are his friends from school, but she knows she hasn't seen "this fellow" (Denver) before! Shades makes up a story about him being an exchange student from Europe who can't speak English. Hilariously, she seems to fall for it:
Mrs Meeks: My, European children certainly are large!
And when she brings up his green skin, Shades says it's because he's from Greenland! That's not exactly Europe, Shades, but OK. Mario adds that he's "Greenlandish", because of course that makes it more convincing.
Anyway, they get to the gym. They find that the door is locked, but a small window high up is open, and Jeremy recalls that Casey's father's auto shop is nearby. Shades mentions Casey might not be willing to help because of how they treated her earlier, but Wally points out she'll always do it if Mario asks, and all the boys laugh at Mario for daring to have someone who admires him. Shades points at him with what is either an opposable index finger or a painfully broken one. Mario refuses outright...
...And then, of course, we cut to him having asked her. Apparently he has now promised her he'll take her to a dirt bike race. She seems cool! Why is he so repelled by her?
So Mario, Shades, and Casey return with the ladder - Jeremy, Wally, and Heather were apparently left to keep watch, with Denver hiding in a bush. They've apparently explained to Casey about Denver off-screen - again, not much of a big deal being made about the fact that dinosaurs exist, although Casey certainly seems like the type to find dinosaurs cool - so when Wally introduces Casey to Denver and the dinosaur licks her, she's just offended by how "mushy" he is.
The ladder isn't quite tall enough to reach the window, but Denver is able to lift it up and provide the necessary height. Casey insists on being the one to go in, doubting the abilities of the boys, so she climbs up Denver and then up the ladder into the window, and quite quickly comes back out through the door, leaving us to guess how she let herself down.
As everyone moves stuff around to make a kind of living space for the dinosaur, like unrolling a gym mat as what must be a makeshift bed and leaving a bit of food for him, Wally apologises to Denver for having to leave him here, and Mario and Shades promise they'll visit him at lunch tomorrow and after school. Then Jeremy says they have to leave because it's almost dinner time - I know he means it in an "our parents will wonder where we are" way but it still makes it seem like he has odd priorities. The kids leave... and Denver looks pretty upset.
They walk out of school, and we see a van parked across the street - inside it, Fizzback is once again muttering to himself, recapping how much he wants to capture the dinosaur. He makes a phone call, addressing "Buzz and Motley" - this is the only time those names are mentioned so we're not going to get any clarification on which is which once they appear. He says he has a job for them as we cut to an ad break. This time, Mario and Mrs Meeks read the ad bumpers.
Now we see Wally in a class. The teacher is telling them all that this is the review for their final exam and that failure will mean summer classes, as Wally looks at the clock - it's almost 3. It will become clear that they haven't seen Denver since that last time, and 3 would presumably be the end of the school day, so did they go back on their promise to see Denver at lunch?
Meanwhile, Denver is wandering around the school grounds! He's escaped! And he's lucky no-one is spotting him!
In Wally's class, the teacher asks them what the capital of France is. She acknowledges that it's an easy one, but she makes it sound like their final exam is going to involve going through the capitals of the world! It's not clear how old the boys are - maybe Wally's a bit younger than the others, his design would support that - but this still seems too easy. A lot of students raise their hands, but the teacher asks "Wallace" to answer, just as Wally notices the dinosaur outside the window - he yells out "Denver!", and the whole class bursts out laughing at his stupid answer. Casey, who can presumably tell what has happened, just puts her head in her hands.
The teacher mocks the stupid answer, asking Wally if he can point out "Denver, France" on a map, but then the bell rings and he's saved. His teacher presumably knows he didn't really think that was the capital - but, not knowing the reason for his mistake, just tells him to "stay awake".
The boys gather together, the others already having caught Denver, and they tell him off for wandering around, which starts to upset him, but they make up quickly. Putting him back in the gym will apparently be too "risky" now though, so they need to take him under the bleachers. It's not obvious why that's a better choice - is it just closer?
Then we cut to Fizzback arriving on the scene with his two hired goons. He asks if they know what to do, and one of them asks how they'll be able to tell which one is the dinosaur. Ah, good - they're stupid hired goons.
By the bleachers, the boys are trying to act natural, but Denver pops his head out from under the seats and they have to try and make him understand that he mustn't. Meanwhile, Nick and the other bullies are hanging around a car - is it theirs? perhaps they're about to steal it - and Fizzback approaches them, hilariously calling them "dudes" in a "fellow kids" kind of moment. He asks how they'd like to make some easy money.
Nick: Hey, if it don't involve work, or time in the slammer, you can count on us, says Nick the Hammer! Heeheehaha!
Fizzback: What are you, a songwriter?
I think it's a little hypocritical of Fizzback to say something about the way Nick is talking, given how much time he spends talking to himself and in third person! Anyway, he tells them he'll give them cash if they keep our boys occupied, and one of Nick's friends blurts out that they'd happily bully them for free, but Nick covers his mouth and demands payment up front. Nick is, sadly, the brains of the outfit.
So they march over and Nick's friend grabs Mario's skateboard, mocking it and saying he'll have to give it to his little sister. Nick's friends start throwing it to each other and running off with it, so, of course, Mario and the gang chase after them. Under the bleachers, Denver seems to wonder where everyone has got to, and wanders out - at which point, the goons attack, shoving a big cone(?) over Denver and moving him into the van!
Not knowing what has just happened, the boys are walking away from their encounter with Nick seemingly unscathed, Mario holding up his skateboard in triumph.
Mario: Everyone's always sorry-o, when they mess with marvellous Mario!
That little rhyme would have been better if he left out "marvellous"! There's some chatter between all the boys about whether they're still in danger - and that's when they get back to the bleachers, and can't see any sign of Denver! And then they hear his voice yelling out from Fizzback's van as it drives away! They chase it on their bikes and skateboards - sorry, skateboard singular, Wally has switched to a bike at some point - but they quickly stop as there's no way for them to catch up with the van, and Wally laments that they will probably never see Denver again... They're pretty quick to give up!
The next we see, they're back at Wally's house, and they're playing table tennis, but their minds obviously aren't on the game. They're talking about how much they miss Denver.
Shades: The thing I can't understand is, why would anyone want to kidnap him?
Jeremy: A dinosaur is a pretty unusual thing these days. And rare things are worth a lot of money.
I love how "these days" makes it sound like the extinction of the dinosaurs was pretty recent. Anyway, Heather walks into the house and tells them that people were handing out something pretty surprising at the mall, and Wally initially doesn't want to hear, too upset to be interested - until she shows them a poster for Morton Fizzback's "Rockin' Dinos" show, with Denver playing guitar on the poster!
We already know that was going to be the name of Fizzback's show - I wonder how much of this Rockin' Dinos thing existed before Denver got involved? Of course, the boys are outraged - and when Heather tells them there's one Rockin' Dinos show tonight before they begin their world tour starting from Japan, they resolve to save him tonight, before he can be taken away for good! They head off, Wally back on his skateboard now - I wonder if the bike was a mistake? - and then we cut to yet another ad break, this time read by Shades and... Morton Fizzback, announcing it as "Morton Fizzback presents Denver the Last Dinosaur"! See, it fits the plot!
They get to the concert venue, which is decorated with a big volcano at the entrance and has Denver's name front and centre - oh, and Morton Fizzback's name too, of course. There are also "Sold Out" signs all over the place. The boys arrive, and Wally is back on a bike now so I don't even know what's going on any more. Since they can't get in legitimately, Wally points out a way for them to sneak in - a forklift carrying a large prop volcano. We don't actually get to see them sneak in, though.
And now, the concert! The crowd are already cheering "Denver! Denver!" before he's even on stage - Fizzback must be as good of a promoter as he claimed! Fizzback himself is on stage, getting another mention of his own name in before proudly presenting "Denver the Last Dinosaur" - apparently the Rockin' Dinos themselves, if that's the name of the band, don't get a shout-out at all! And then the curtains open and the music starts, and, yes, the music is just the show's theme song.
The two goons push Denver out on stage, wearing shades (the ones from his disguise? he hasn't worn them since then), and he hesitates at first. But then he sees his own name in lights, and holograms of dinosaurs flying around him, and he smiles, and suddenly he's holding a guitar and grooving along to the song! I guess this now excuses the "we don't really care if people stop and stare" thing, if it's an in-universe song like this. Speaking of which, I suppose the crowd are assuming this is all somehow an impressive effect and not a real dinosaur? The rest of the episode will still treat the existence of a living dinosaur as a secret, so...
During a particularly psychedelic hologram display where Denver somehow ends up on a skateboard, the boys pop out of that same prop volcano at the back of the stage to see what's going on - Wally exclaims "Look, there's Denver!" as if they've somehow missed everything that's loudly happening in front of them! Meanwhile, Fizzback, on the sidelines with his goons, is basking in the cheers of the crowd when he notices the kids, calling them "two-legged mosquitoes", which is a lovely insult. So he presses a button labelled "Erupt"! The prop starts shaking and emitting smoke, so it's one impressive volcano - the boys dive out, and then the volcano starts blasting fireworks! He could have killed them!
The song has ended, the crowd are cheering Denver's name again, and... now I'm convinced Wally's glasses just aren't the right prescription.
Wally: Where's Denver?
Shades: At the front of the stage!
There's some smoke from the fireworks, sure, but he's still a big dinosaur and the focus of all the attention in the room! Anyway, the kids all have no sense of direction - they instead wander backstage and walk right into Fizzback's henchmen, who pick each boy up in one arm! Fizzback walks over and threatens them, and Shades tries to call out for the police to report a stolen dinosaur - right yeah, that would go really well. The goons carry them off as Jeremy starts listing other people they're gonna call, including the Marines!
Now we see Fizzback pacing around in his office, a very untidy place covered with posters of what must be his shows, including "Lu Lu and the Luettes", "Star Power 79", "If You Can Can-Can", and of course "Rockin' Dinos". He's pacing and worrying that the kids might ruin everything - yes, he's muttering to himself again - and, giving up on Japan, he tries to think of a way to get the dinosaur out of his hands and still make money off the whole thing.
Back to the boys, who have been locked in a storage room, and they waffle for a bit about how they need to do something while not having any ideas on what to do - and then Casey, out of nowhere, drops a rope through an open window above them, enabling them to get out. There was no sign she even knew they were going there, and they just leave her behind as they go, almost as if she wasn't originally supposed to be involved in this part of the episode - was this just a case of the writers realising they'd written themselves into a corner? And the boys' bikes and skateboard suddenly materialise out of nowhere when they leave, too.
Oh, and Shades unironically uses the phrase "Let's blow this popsicle stand". Cute.
The boys ride off, Jeremy informing the others that Japan is approximately 5,600 miles away. Google informs me that's just about right for Hollywood to Japan, although I was confused by the range of results I was getting until I discovered there is also a Hollywood in Florida. Anyway, they arrive at the dock to see a boat leaving, surrounded by cheering Rockin' Dinos fans, and they find Denver's shades on the floor... they sadly conclude they'll never see Denver again, as the narrator reminds us that Denver isn't actually headed to Japan, and we see Fizzback driving another van with Denver loaded in the back.
...Um... so... how did the shades get by the dock if Denver didn't go there? Anyway, another ad break, narrated by Mario and then Fizzback again, the latter feeling the need to call Denver an "oversized lizard"!
We rejoin the story at a university, where the narrator tells us that Denver is about to be sold for scientific experimentation! In a lab, Fizzback is shoving Denver into a cage, when the photo from earlier slips out of Denver's hands - where had he been hiding it this whole time? Fizzback, not wanting any evidence around that would prove the boys rightfully own the dinosaur, screws it up and stuffs it in his pocket, as Denver cries out - it really sounds like he's actually yelling "No!" but it's all just meant to be his usual animal noises.
Fizzback says something about not wanting to go to prison just as the scientist, Dr Funt, walks in, joking that Fizzback would fit right in in prison. He also doubts that the dinosaur could be real, but once he gets a look, he's impressed. He mentions not being able to recognise the exact species - you don't say! Then Fizzback draws his attention back to how much the dinosaur is worth...
Later, Funt is examining Denver with an X-ray machine, and declares that this proves Denver isn't some kind of mutation but is a genuine dinosaur - it's not clear what he saw that proved that. He tests Denver's reflexes by hitting his leg with a comically large hammer, and gets whacked by Denver's tail. Then he says this proves Denver is a previously unknown species - okay - and names it a "Funtasaurus", as he presses one button on a nearby computer to make the word "FUNTASAURUS" appear in big letters on the screen. You know, the FUNTASAURUS button. He walks off through the door, ranting about how famous he's going to be, as Denver, back in the cage, looks upset once again.
But then another door opens - as the old saying goes - and a little girl walks in, carrying a toy dinosaur! The girl sees Denver and tells him he looks just like "Wilbur", and yes, the toy does have a surprising likeness to the real dinosaur. Denver is delighted as she hands him the toy through the bars of the cage! I think he misses the company of other dinosaurs.
Then we see an old man walking around the corridors of the building, asking "Joy" where she's gone, and we hear the little girl shout back "In here, grandfather!" He walks in to find Joy in the cage with Denver! Funt really needs better security. Joy's grandfather, in a panic, tells her to get out of there, but Joy reassures him the dinosaur is friendly as Denver licks her face. Denver hands Joy back to her grandfather, as the old man marvels at the existence of the dinosaur and wonders why he's here. He mentions Dr Funt, at which Denver sadly nods and then snarls, making his opinion of Funt very clear!
Funt then walks in right on cue, addressing the man as Professor Chin and telling him to get Joy away from the dinosaur. Chin is concerned about the way the dinosaur is being treated, and Funt reassures him the dinosaur won't be in that cage for long - because as soon as Funt's colleagues arrive, they'll start doing experiments on him! I love how his villainous plot is as vague as "do experiments", because everyone knows that's what evil mad scientists do, right?
So Funt leaves, laughing evilly, and of course the kindly Chin immediately sets about getting Denver out of the cage, looking through the keys in Funt's drawer to find the right one. I'm glad there seem to be decent people around everywhere. Joy is upset that they have to free him - she says she doesn't have anyone else to play with here, which does raise the question of why she and Chin are here. Does Chin work at the same university and have to take care of Joy because her parents aren't around? Something like that? It doesn't look these two are regular characters, so we may never know.
Chin: Sometimes we have to let go of the things we love, for their sake. Do you understand?
Joy: No.
Thanks for ruining the moment, little girl. Still, she says that it's okay if it's what her dinosaur friend wants. Man, she goes through all this and never gets to learn his name.
In Funt's office, separate from the lab, Funt is practising his Nobel acceptance speech in front of a mirror! That's a little premature! There's a knock and he lets three generic scientists into the room, who accuse him of wasting their time "again" - it sounds like he's had a history of discoveries that turned out to be nothing. Perhaps the sort of man who's been conned by shady dealers like Fizzback into buying phony scientific miracles before! Then Joy and Chin hear Funt's voice outside while they're still struggling with the cage's lock, but luckily he's making a bit of a show of it, telling the other scientists how great the thing they're about to see is.
And so, by the time they all walk into the lab... all that's in the cage is the Wilbur toy! The other scientists start laughing at Funt's "dinosaur", while he can only look at it in horror. I'm not sure exactly why Joy would have left the toy there except to set up that gag, but hey!
Now we're in Fizzback's office, and he gets a panicked phone call from Funt telling him that Denver has escaped. I understand Funt's panic, but, from Funt's point of view, why is this any of Fizzback's business? Funt bought him off Fizzback - Fizzback doesn't have any further connection to the dinosaur - and Funt knows Fizzback is a crook, so why tell him the valuable dinosaur is on the loose? Funt even emphasises that the dinosaur is "worth millions", which makes me wonder how much he actually paid Fizzback for it.
Fizzback lies that he has no idea where the dinosaur would be headed, then puts the phone down and takes out that photo of Denver and the boys, announcing loudly to the empty room that he knows exactly where Denver would go. He gives us a nice big evil laugh as we fade into yet another ad break, voiced by Joy both times, although she seems unsure that Denver actually will be back!
Anyway, we do see Denver right away, as the narrator explains that most animals have a homing instinct, and that's how he's going to find his way to Los Angeles. But even though the narrator tells us that in the same encyclopaedic tone she delivered the dinosaur facts with earlier, what we actually see in this instance is Denver licking his finger and holding it up to the wind like a human navigator!
In a brief montage, we see him heading through mountains, fields, sliding along a river, and catching a ride from a train - he's in a compartment full of cows, mooing along with them! He's not very good at mooing but it's adorable.
But eventually, hopping off the back of a truck full of hay, he does make it back to Wally's house! Once he's inside, Heather walks by and casually says "Hi, Denver"... before suddenly realising Denver has come back, hugging him and asking how he got here! I love how much they all got used to having a dinosaur around in such a short time. The doorbell rings and Heather thinks it must be Shades and Mario, but she opens it to find a guy carrying flowers - it's her boyfriend, Chet! He goes to walk in, but she shuts the door on his jacket in a panic and tries to hide Denver.
So when she does let him in (taking the flowers and throwing them straight into a bin while thanking him for them!), she leads him through the living room, where Denver has been poorly hidden under a green sheet, and he's visibly moving underneath. Chet is confused, and Heather makes some excuses about the room being repainted and there being some new piece of furniture underneath there.
Chet: Oh. Is it modern?
Heather: No, no, it's sort of an antique.
You see? You see? Because he's... yeah.
Heather shoves Chet into the back garden and offers to get him a drink as a pretext to run back into the house (even though he's not thirsty) and she tells Denver that Wally and Jeremy went to the park (ah, hence why she thought Shades and Mario might be at the door). She gives Denver his pink shades back - I'm really losing track of where those are supposed to be at any given time - and, after a lick goodbye, he leaves to look for the boys.
So we see Denver sneaking through the park - a dinosaur crawling on all fours and wearing shades is totally inconspicuous - and then he spots the boys from a distance, playing basketball.
The narrator tells us they were all sure they'd never see Denver again. Before Denver is in earshot, it's clear they're all very upset about him being gone. But then they start trying to reassure themselves, and so this is the part that Denver overhears:
Jeremy: We made it through the summer before without a dinosaur.
Wally: Who wants a stupid dinosaur for a friend anyway?
Wally, you meanie! Yeah, I know he couldn't have known, and it's very obvious from context that he doesn't really feel that way. But Denver looks very upset, and slinks away without making his presence known...
The boys head off, gathering their respective rides (for anyone who still cares, Wally is back to a skateboard again), and they almost immediately encounter Nick and the other bullies. There's the usual eloquent banter from both parties, but then the bullies start to surround our boys, ready to attack.
Denver overhears. The narrator tells us he hears the laughter of the "older boys", whatever that means for the ages of everyone involved here, since the bullies still can't be more than teenagers. The evil laughter reminds him of both Fizzback and Funt - it seems like he has some trauma from his recent experiences.
Narrator: Denver's mind told him to run away faster - but his heart told him to return.
Remember what feels like weeks ago, when the boys' Plan A was that skateboard trick? Well, this time, Shades suggests using Plan B, and Mario says they don't have one. I have to admit, I should have seen that one coming.
Denver is looking at this scene from up on a hill, and thinks back to the scariest dinosaur he knows - T. Rex. It's a little funny to think of dinosaurs looking at other dinosaurs and thinking "that's a scary one". The image of the Tyrannosaurus roaring appears in both the lenses of his shades!
Then Mario quite randomly yells "Cowabunga!" as Denver starts charging towards the bullies, looking as menacing as he can.
The bullies, who of course haven't seen Denver yet, run away in a panic. The day is saved! No, wait, I'm getting new information... a net immediately descends and Denver is captured again!
Yes, Fizzback and his goons are back, on a bridge above the scene, lifting their handy dinosaur net. The boys scramble up the hill to reach them, and start demanding for Fizzback to give Denver back, as the henchmen prepare to load the net into a crate. The ever-poetic Shades calls Fizzback "Sleezeback", and Fizzback responds by expositing what he's planning to do with the dinosaur - Funt is moving jobs to a lab in Australia (he arranged that fast) and Fizzback is having Denver shipped over there! Huh, so he hasn't betrayed Funt after all. Unless he's charging him all over again for this.
As Fizzback prepares to make a phone call, he briefly sings to himself a variation of the theme song, this time about how much money Denver's going to make him. It's funny in itself, but it's also one of those things where it's interesting to think what would have been on the writers' minds - they want Denver to make them a lot of money too! He's calling "Koala Shipping Service" (you know, all Australian businesses are named that way) to check that the truck is on its way.
But then... Casey, showing up out of nowhere again on her scooter, grabs Fizzback's phone and throws it into the crate! As Fizzback struggles to retrieve it, Mario comes along on a bike (looks like he's grabbed Shades' one this time) and uses the discarded lid of the crate as a see-saw to fling Fizzback into the crate!
When Fizzback calls out to his goons for help, they abandon Denver, giving Jeremy the opportunity to free him from the net! And the show hasn't forgotten that Mario being on a bike leaves his skateboard abandoned (so this switch was intentional) - Denver gets on the skateboard, skating right at the goons, and whacking them into the crate with his tail! The boys throw the lid onto the crate, and Casey gets on top to hammer it shut! Wow, this is a cruel punishment!
The Koala company's truck shows up - the driver has an Australian accent, which is a little surprising as you'd think they'd use local drivers - and they let him take the crate away and get it put onto a boat. The boys, Denver, and Casey watch the crate being loaded onto the boat, as Fizzback uses his phone (oh yeah, that went into the crate first) to try to call for help! Serves him right.
One last ad break - the narrator talking both times - and then there's a very short scene of a new photo being taken. This time, Casey is present, and Heather is using a timer so she can be in the picture too. This seems like the sort of time when the person taking the picture would find something humorous to tell them all to say instead of "cheese", right?
She asks them to say "Denver".
That was long. I hope it's a while before I hit another cartoon that takes this long to write up.