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Blaster's Universe (1999)

First episode title: You're History

How familiar with the show am I?: Not at all.

A human boy, his robot dog, and his alien friend go around the universe having adventures and learning things along the way. It's an educational show, based on a series of educational games, but it tries to make it fun.

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The main characters in Blaster's Universe are:

• Blaster, a blue-haired human boy with a lot of hunger for adventure but not a lot of interest in learning

• GC, a more sensible alien girl from the planet Omega, who would look human if it wasn't for her purple skin

• MEL, a robot dog with what sounds like an over-exaggerated Australian accent

As we begin, Blaster is steering a little yellow two-person craft through space, in the middle of what seems like an asteroid belt or meteor storm, two of the rocks colliding with each other seconds too late to crush the ship! Blaster is cheering and declares this experience to be a "blast". He does this a lot, like he's obsessed with his own name or something. GC is sitting behind him and bored, telling him to wake her up when it's over. And MEL is sitting in his own compartment on one wing - Blaster and GC's section has a transparent bubble over it which would of course be for their air and pressure, so I guess MEL doesn't need those things because his section is uncovered. Blaster has declared MEL to be his navigator on this trip.

MEL: Adjust 3.27 degrees inclination, 6 degrees of separation!

Blaster: Huh? What does that mean?

MEL: I don't really know. But it sounded good, didn't it?

GC points out that they are being chased by a group of giant blue tentacled aliens, not in any kind of craft, which Blaster refers to as Gogglepods. Or perhaps Gogglapods or Gogglerpods - the pronunciation seems inconsistent. Then while they're trying to get away from those, MEL, who apparently does have useful functions after all, says that his subspace radar is detecting a ship ahead. Right on cue, a purple ship shaped like a high-heeled shoe appears as if out of nowhere, and it contains a cackling bald woman that the kids recognise as Illitera. Presumably she is from a game involving learning to read, with a name like that! She is apparently the one that sent the Gogglepods after them. While boasting about her imminent victory, she refers to GC as "the Commander's daughter", which is the only mention of such a thing in this particular episode, so I have no idea what relevance that has.

Gogglepods are now surrounding them from the front, back, and sides, so Blaster escapes danger by steering them upwards. The Gogglepods crash into each other, and then they head for Illitera, and as she gets swallowed up she starts yelling that Blaster is history... at which point, the scene fades, and we find out that Blaster has been daydreaming all of this while he and GC ride their bikes (weirdly penny-farthing-shaped ones), and she's saying something about history that has leaked into Blaster's thoughts. I have to say, the idea of having the main character daydream about fighting villains in space feels really redundant in a show where the main character already has an alien friend and goes on adventures through space with his talking robot dog.

Speaking of whom, MEL and GC share a laugh about Blaster's daydreaming, and GC repeats what she had actually been saying, asking if Blaster had his history assignment. Blaster says he wants to forget about it, so, of course, MEL tells him the old cliché about how those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. GC says that she finds Earth's history interesting, and Blaster loudly points out that she's an alien, prompting her to shush him and drag him into an alleyway. So, apparently it's supposed to be a secret, despite her purple skin? I had assumed this show was meant to be set in the kind of future where aliens could just mix on Earth, but maybe this Earth is just meant to be a very stylised present day.

While Blaster reiterates his point that Earth history is a lot more interesting to people who aren't from here, and argues that if studying Omega's history at school was an option he'd probably enjoy it, a figure in a horned helmet riding a horse is watching them from the street...

Blaster says that his homework is to write a thousand words about the Yalta Conference, and this activates MEL into explaining what that is, using his eyes to project beams making a screen showing the visuals for his explanation. I shamefully had never heard of any of this, so I'm getting educated by this episode too - it was a meeting held in 1945 between countries such as the US, the UK, and the Soviet Union to discuss how to win World War II, but was briefly disrupted by a bomb threat. The episode doesn't go into where Yalta is - it's in Crimea in Ukraine, then part of the Soviet Union, and of course currently occupied by Russia.

As MEL is explaining this, we see the man on the horse again - it's now clear that the horse is a robot horse, and there's a screen on the back of its neck, displaying crosshairs with the kids and MEL in the centre! We get to see the man's face... and MEL exclaims "Attila the Hun!" He gives a brief history of who that is, before clarifying that he mentioned him because he's right there. Obviously, the kids are surprised that he is here. Like, why wouldn't they be? I expect you're surprised too. Attila in MEL's projection took a big bite out of a cartoonish leg of meat, and here the real Attila does the same thing, amusingly.

MEL mentions that Attila the Hun is supposed to have died 1600 years ago. That puts us in the mid-21st century. Near-future, then. Attila charges at them on the horse and they flee along the alleyway, and Attila manages to grab MEL and leap his horse over a fence at the end, out of reach of the kids. Attila gallops through a park while MEL, who's somewhat of a chatterbox, doesn't stop berating him and telling him to let him go. The children keep chase on their bikes, Blaster riding on the grass leaping every obstacle to try and reach MEL while GC sticks rigidly to the path, not getting as far. Blaster gets close enough and leaps onto the horse, but Attila presses some buttons on the horse's control panel and it takes off like a rocket! GC rides her bike up a see-saw to reach him - you would expect the far end to lower in reaction to this, given the point of a see-saw, but it does not - and she manages to grab hold of Blaster's leg and fly along with them! They're taken up towards... a big purple spaceship shaped like an open book?

Cut to inside the spaceship, where various objects, including a toilet, a statue, and what appears to be the Declaration of Independence, are encased in liquid-filled tubes around the walls. Attila, without his horse, is still carrying MEL, while Blaster and GC are being held upside-down by two aliens. GC identifies the one holding her up, a big blue one-eyed lizard-like being, as fearsome pirate "Glormax the Powerful" from Omega, while the alien that has got Blaster, a shrimp-like being in a hovering bowl that has tentacle attachments, is a notorious criminal named what sounds like "Ixprst the Unpronounceable". But the important thing is, like Attila, they're both dangerous people from the past, who should be dead by now.

Someone in a seat facing a big screen starts clapping at GC's display of knowledge, and the seat turns around to reveal a big-headed green alien in a military outfit. He compliments her, then accidentally addresses Blaster as Plaster and corrects himself. The kids are surprised that he knows who they are, and he claims to know everything that's ever happened in history including the times they've foiled villains' plots, several more times saying slightly the wrong word and having to verbally backspace, which of course undercuts his point a bit.

The villain shows off a machine of his called the "time interlocutor" which is what allows him to bring violent people from throughout history into the present to work for him. As he says this, though, Attila and the other two vanish, causing the heroes to fall to the floor, and the alien, annoyed, says that the effect is only temporary, pulling a lever on the machine to bring them all back again. Not even fazed by this technology, Blaster asks the alien who he is, and he first introduces himself as "Major Mystery", but it's one of his usual flubs - he's actually "Major History", of course. Then the historic villains pick everyone up again, and the cliffhanger ending of the first act is Blaster and MEL's captors throwing them through a hatch down out of the spaceship!

The ability that Blaster and GC use to get out of this one seems to be a regular feature of the show. While falling, they just about manage to get close enough to each other for them to tap together GC's ring with Blaster's watch. This performs a "galaxy jump"! That ring-and-watch manoeuvre is also what's happening on the title card gif all the way back up at the top of this article, by the way.

The jump takes them back to GC's home planet of Omega, to a city covered in a weird sort of dome full of a bizarre collection of buildings, and specifically to GC's bedroom, where the process has also changed both of their outfits to futuristic-looking ones, most notably giving Blaster a space helmet - I guess he can't breathe in Omega's atmosphere even though GC can breathe in Earth's. But he manually retracts the helmet once in GC's room, so now I'm really speculating but I guess GC keeps her room with an Earth-like atmosphere even if the air outside isn't like that. Or maybe the process always gives Blaster a helmet but not GC and she can just breathe any atmosphere? I don't know, I don't have the context. That's kind of the point of this. Anyway, then there's a bit where GC says they need to find out more about History and Blaster tells her this is no time for studying until she clarifies she meant Major History.

By apparent coincidence, Major History's spaceship arrives somewhere else on Omega! He and his minions, Attila still carrying MEL, approach a vault (in the style of an old-fashioned bank building) where the entire history of the galaxy is kept, which Major History needs for his plans. Yes, he says he knows everything about history, so this must be for some other reason than gaining this knowledge. The vault has a two-billion-digit security code, which is why he's kidnapped MEL in order to crack it. MEL claims to be no good at that sort of thing, but Major History reveals more of his knowledge: the fact that MEL cracked the code to Blaster's locker (which was presumably a lot less than two billion digits), and the fact that MEL is very ticklish, an amusing trait for a robot to have. Ixprst now has a feather in each tentacle and starts tickling MEL until he much too quickly gives in and starts breaking the code! Blaster and GC need to get that ticklishness patched out of him somehow.

In GC's room, she's at her computer trying to find information about Major History, and at first nothing is coming up. But then all of a sudden there's a profile on him. You might just think they went further on in the search, but it seems like something else is at play here...

GC: Attended Omega University... majored in history...

Blaster: [sarcastically] That's a surprise.

GC: He discovered America in 1492, and... he invented the light bulb?

Blaster: That is a surprise.

The screen somehow has video footage of this accomplishments, too. It shows a bunch more of his achievements, some involving taking over other planets, and not to forget the fact that he "invented gravity", portrayed as him as Isaac Newton getting buried by an avalanche of apples falling out of a tree. You've probably figured out the point that GC makes next - somehow, Major History is rewriting history!

And we know how, of course. We see him inside the vault, at a big computer, changing all of the information inside. It's funny that he has access to time travel technology but instead rewrites history more literally, by changing the historic record. But then again, even with time travel it would be difficult to achieve all of those things. He's laughing to himself while saying all the different accomplishments that are now his, like winning every Nobel Peace Prize ever, while MEL staggers into the room, "aching" from the effort of cracking the code. Attila picks him up again, and this time it seems like a relief for him.

Major History: And I, Major History, shall hold the intergalactic record for most mittens crocheted in one year! Mother will be so proud...

GC and Blaster fly into the vault through the open door - I guess that's an ability of these space outfits. Blaster still isn't wearing the helmet, firmly establishing that he can breathe Omega's air, so that puts some of those theories out of the window... How they knew to come here isn't explained, but I guess this is the only place Major History could possibly be changing the records from, or he wouldn't have been so desperate to get in here. Blaster wants to just charge at the villains, but GC points out a secondary control station where she could counteract Major History's activities. Blaster agrees to her doing that... and then charges in the direction of the bad guys anyway.

The trio of historical villains are facing each other with playing cards in their hands, and Glormax says "Go fish", the first time any of those three have had any lines. The "Go fish" gag is such a common one in cartoons, but I never got it as a kid - I didn't even know what the game was, in fact. I only found out as an adult what the joke is meant to be: that you would expect these rough-looking characters to be playing poker or something similarly adult, when they are actually playing Go Fish, a game intended for small children. It's likely that Go Fish became the usual game in this gag because it's a game where you say the name of the game as a part of playing it, like in Bingo. Blaster, despite rushing off before, now sneaks past the villains, catching MEL's eye and signalling him to keep quiet.

On Major History's screen, he's happily typing away, until records start changing back and showing the real people who did the things he claimed, such as Balboa reaching the Pacific Ocean and Jacques Cousteau inventing the Aqua-Lung. At each one, he has a childish tantrum, insisting that it was actually him who did it, almost as if he really thinks he did. Blaster makes it to behind the computer and unplugs it. This annoys Major History again, and then Blaster himself jumps out into view, claiming to have thwarted the villain's plan. Major History starts to command his historical figures to attack... and they vanish again. Weirdly, the playing cards disappear with them, as if they were also from another time.

Blaster and MEL advance on the Major, MEL threatening to bite him, and GC closes the doors so that the Major can't get back to his ship to use the time interlocutor. So Major History reveals... he has a handheld version of it! Given the amount of bulky equipment needed for the one on his ship, I'm wondering if this one is wirelessly connected to the big one rather than just being a smaller version of the same technology. He holds up the device... and uses it on MEL, Blaster, and GC, who all vanish! Nice big evil laugh from Major History to take us into the break.

The three of them reappear, floating above the sea where two sets of boats are firing cannons at each other, right past them. Blaster asks "why can't history be this exciting?", completely missing the point of what's going on, and MEL explains that this is the Spanish Armada attacking Britain in 1588. The English have tiny little ships next to the huge Spanish ones. Whatever force was holding them in the air wears off - not sure why we haven't seen an effect like that from the time interlocutor before - and they fall.

They land on Sir Francis Drake, portrayed as a typical posh Englishman, who comments that the Spanish are firing children and dogs at them now. I guess it's just meant to be the case that no-one ever notices that MEL is a robot and GC is an alien. Drake looks through a telescope at a Spanish commander, who boasts about how the Spanish will destroy the tiny English ships - his over-the-top accent might as well be Mexican rather than actually being from Spain. That's to enable a gag where Drake mistakes "ships" for "sheeps".

The kids are worried that they're going to get killed on this clearly doomed ship, but MEL already knows from history that the British actually gained an advantage in this battle with their superior speed by getting their ships below the Spanish line of fire and then easily firing from close range. Which is what we see happen. And then absurdly the Spanish commander shouts "abandon sheep!" and actual sheep start diving off the boat, and he puts a modern inflatable rubber ring on as he dives off himself. No, I don't think this is due to actual changes in the timeline that the characters have caused - this is just a silly little gag. Then another barrage of cannon balls comes down from somewhere, and there's a big splash...

Back in the present or future or whatever, Major History is back at the computer, updating the Wright brothers' first flight to instead be achieved by himself and his brother "Pre". Get it? Then the main trio appear back in the room, the time warp having worn off, and a big splash of water (including a fish) comes with them, landing on Major History. This is a bit like the playing card situation - I guess proximity can just make things come with you when you get taken back? Perhaps that's a necessary feature just to make sure your clothes come with you.

Blaster almost ignores Major History to start to tell GC that he actually found that bit of history interesting, but Major History, annoyed that they survived, points the interlocutor at them and they get teleported again, this time to a jungle in the time of the dinosaurs. They think Major History wants them to get eaten, but then they see the meteor heading for the Earth... Apparently he didn't put them at quite the right moment, though, because they get transported back to the present in time. Just about - Blaster's butt is slightly singed. Out of context, the image looks like a fart. I don't think it's supposed to.

Major History says he'll send them to the Crab Nebula next, and GC starts to explain about the formation of that nebula in a supernova seen from Earth in the 11th century, but Blaster dismissively says that he knows all about that, and accuses Major History of being an amateur that only knows the easy bits of history. This is obviously hypocritical coming from Blaster, but it's just to goad him - Blaster says he bets Major History doesn't know what the Yalta Conference was, and that provokes him into teleporting them there. Using the villain's ability and temper to help you ace your history homework... that's a new one on me.

We see a big building with a sign outside that says "Yalta Con '45" like it was a fandom convention, and the flags of the UK, USSR, and USA outside are drawn to varying degrees of accuracy, including a six-starred Stars and Stripes. Which six states should get to stay in this version of the US? Vote now! (Disclaimer: there is no vote on this.) The trio are time warped to just outside the window of the building, and Blaster starts to recite what he remembers MEL telling them earlier. When he gets up to the part about the bomb... they see a suspicious guy in a hat and trenchcoat sneaking into the building with a briefcase! I'm sure that's exactly the way it happened.

Blaster, GC, and MEL all take off - as well as Blaster and GC's suits having that power, it looks like MEL can just do that naturally, which becomes weird if you think about the times he could have made use of that - and they grab the briefcase off the shady guy as he gets chased away by guards with dogs. So they transport back to the present day with Blaster holding the bomb. Which is all according to Blaster's plan!

Major History gloats in a sing-song way that he knows all about the Yalta Conference, and uses the interlocutor again to summon his historical minions...

...so Blaster says he has a present for the Major, and tosses him the briefcase. Once the Major realises what it is, he tosses it to each of his minions, who each vanish again in turn, like the interlocutor wore off quicker this time for some reason. It lands back at the kids, and MEL shows a previously-unseen ability to use his back as a spring to catapult the bomb back towards the Major. The briefcase crashes into him, knocking from his hands the interlocutor, which lands at Blaster's feet!

Blaster blasts Major History into history. How apt. Then he looks at the controls trying to work out if there's a way to stop the Major just coming back soon, but GC is paying more attention - the bomb is still on the floor, and still counting down! It has one of those convenient numerical displays on the outside of the briefcase, making it almost worthless as a disguise for the bomb. So GC grabs the interlocutor and zaps the bomb, sending it all the way back to the Big Bang where she says it won't make a difference. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that will actually make it pretty critical in determining the way the universe evolves from its earliest state. Oh well.

It now seems to be the next morning before school, Blaster waiting on his bike next to MEL, with GC's empty bike beside them. She shows up via teleportation - can she do the galaxy jump thing without Blaster? - apologising for being late due to getting caught in an ion storm. That just raises more questions. GC asks Blaster if he wrote those thousand words about the Yalta Conference, and Blaster, now much more excited about history, says that he wrote three thousand words instead. And all this from not even getting to go inside the Yalta Conference - how much would he have written then?

MEL asks Blaster where he sent Major History, because apparently there wasn't time to do so while they were standing around waiting for GC. It turns out that Major History, breaking all logic about how the time travel only previously made you join the events of history rather than forcing you to take someone's place in it, is now in Blaster's first grade English class learning about how L is for Lion and such. The Major mutters "Next time..." and gets told off for speaking without raising his hand, and on that torture we leave him for this episode!

So, what is there to say here? Well, it is what I like to see from an educational show, with the focus being on the adventure, and the history lessons being present but not overbearing. The animation isn't my favourite style but it's not horrible, and the characters were fun, especially Major History!

Weirdly though... from searching online, I can't find anything about the Yalta Conference being interrupted by a bomb threat? If that's not real history, the episode did a pretty bad job of separating the fictional parts from the historical facts. And it's supposed to be educational!