Alvin and the Chipmunks (1983)
First episode title: The C Team / The Chipettes
How familiar with the show am I?: I watched some as a kid, but I wouldn't remember any specific episodes.
Alvin the chipmunk and his brothers Simon and Theodore are a famous singing trio who live with their foster father / manager, Dave (a human). If you're a bit younger than me, the version of Alvin and the Chipmunks that you're familiar with might well be the live-action movies that began in the 2000s. But the Alvin franchise started in 1958 as a series of novelty records with high-pitched vocals, and they got their first cartoon in 1961! This 80s version of the cartoon was the one I grew up with, and although I don't remember anything too specific about it, I've never been able to get the theme song out of my head to this day! Alvin, Simon... Theodore! Do, do, do-do-do-do! (And they even note in the theme song that "it's been a while", since this is their first series since the 60s one.)
Two segments in this episode - you know the drill by now. The first one is "The C Team", and it starts with the three brothers looking around their room for something to bring into school for show-and-tell. If you watch plenty of American TV you will probably already know that that's a scheduled activity where kids bring in interesting things and explain them to the class, and I'm pretty sure we never had it at any school I ever attended here in the UK, but Wikipedia claims we do it here too. I don't trust Wikipedia about differences between the UK and the US, though. They think we call corn "maize". We don't.
Simon is the nerd with the glasses, and Theodore is the fat kid that eats a lot. This is clear from the moment they first appear here - Theodore suggests bringing an apple, and when Simon criticises it as "too common", Theodore eats the apple instead. You would have thought they would use a less healthy food for that gag, so maybe the writers were told to make sure Theodore didn't eat too much junk food to avoid setting a bad example. It is kind of weird that a trio of famous touring musicians haven't picked up some interesting stuff on their travels, but then this whole half of the episode seems to act as if that side of their life doesn't exist and treats them as ordinary schoolkids.
They all go downstairs and Dave randomly happens to be looking at a watch of his, which is a one-of-a-kind family heirloom, and Alvin immediately claims it for their show-and-tell and they all run off with it without waiting for permission, as Dave tells them to be careful with it. I suppose Alvin's personality is that he's the impulsive, outgoing one, and not that he's just a jerk!
We don't even get to see the show-and-tell, though, as the next scene is them coming home from school. A trio of bullies (human), led by a boy apparently named Monk, steal the watch from them - the brothers almost successfully keep it away from the bullies, until Theodore falls into a bin and they grab it from him. Given that Theodore is the overweight over-eater, you would stereotypically expect him to have the lowest-pitched voice, but his is the highest of the three - he's actually the only one voiced by a woman, the other two being voiced by the same man who played Dave, although thanks to the pitched up voices you can't really tell.
The bullies head back to their clubhouse, which Simon tells us is known to be booby-trapped, which would make getting the watch back difficult. But then Alvin picks up a newspaper from the bin, and learns that Mr. T is in their town, appearing at a local TV station! Yes, Mr. T the actor. And Mr. T's own cartoon show began the same day as this one, so this is definitely a cross-promotion for that.
Alvin: Betcha Mr. T could help us!
Simon: He does go on all sorts of rescue missions on his show, The A-Team.
They do know Mr. T is just playing a character on that show, right? The name "B. A. Baracus" doesn't show up in this episode anywhere. Alvin declares the chipmunks to be "The C Team" - hey it's the episode title - and they rush off to the TV station, but Mr. T has already left. I mean, I was actually thinking that it would be unlikely that he would still be there as the article about his visit seemed to be talking about an event that had already happened. You know, headline speak - "Mr. T visits" means he already did it, whereas if it hadn't happened yet it would say "Mr. T to visit".
But then they happen to walk past a steak house where Mr. T is having a meal (Alvin initially thinks Theodore has been distracted by food until he points out who he's seen). Alvin makes Theodore talk to Mr. T first, and this is where Theodore's high-pitched voice really works for the character, as he sounds adorably nervous when trying to speak to him. Eventually Alvin takes over and explains the situation with the watch. Mr. T, voiced by himself of course, acts grumpy, but hates bullies so much that he's immediately on their side.
When he shouts that he hates bullies, he slams the table and his bag of fries ends up in the hands of Theodore, who goes to take a bite:
Mr. T: You can't eat those fries!
Theodore: Gee, Mr. T, I, uh-
Mr. T: Without ketchup!
And he holds up a bottle of ketchup! It's still weird that Mr. T is here, but the writers are using him as well as they can, I think. The chipmunks explain about the booby-trapped clubhouse, and Mr. T tells them he has a plan.
The plan is evidently to just dress up as piles of leaves and sneak in! Simon does cut the wire to the alarm system first - why is that accessible from outside the gate? - and then they just walk right into the grounds, making sure not to trigger any traps accidentally... until Theodore steps on a mattress that springs shut on him. Right as he was saying that anything can be a trap, too. One of the bullies shouts out "Who's out there?", and the chipmunks immediately flee - I'm not sure why they didn't just hide until the coast is clear, as they're already in the grounds! It's not like they're going to give up completely, after all. And the bullies are quick to conclude that the intruders have "learned their lesson" so they don't look for them, conveniently.
They go back to Mr. T, who tells them that if you can't go through something you have to go over it (you know the old saying), and Simon gets out a calculator and starts working out how much of what materials they would need in order to make something that could fly to the clubhouse... while everyone else ignores him and just starts making it. I know some of you reading this, like me, saw yourselves as the Simon type of character in every cartoon - even if you haven't seen this particular show, you know the kind of character I mean. He even actually says "According to my calculations" here, the most stereotypical nerd phrase there is!
In a box held up by three balloons, the chipmunks fly up to the top window of the clubhouse (Alvin saw the bullies put the watch in a chest in the attic earlier). Their flight is accompanied by a song from the chipmunks - the problem with a group of singing characters with artifically pitched-up voices is that song lyrics can be hard enough to understand as it is, so it's even harder here! They're definitely singing about being there whenever there is trouble, though, like they've suddenly become superheroes just because they met a famous actor.
Alvin and Simon go in and grab the chest, but Theodore tries to follow them - the box almost floats away and Theodore ends up stuck with one foot in it and one foot on the windowsill. Alvin and Simon save him from that predicament, but then when they put the chest in the box, Theodore falls out and ends up hanging from it! Come on, get it together, Theodore.
He ends up hanging down in front of the window to the room where the bullies are, so even though Alvin and Simon manage to get Theodore back into the box, the bullies now know they're there, and one of them uses a peashooter to pop a couple of the balloons. Simon weirdly refers to the balloons as "airbags" in this scene, which... they're not.
They lose their last balloon over a park, and the bullies rush over there to confront them - the chipmunks happen to land safely in a sandbox, which seems to mean they don't suffer any injuries at all! After being chased around a bit, the chipmunks hop onto a merry-go-round, and then, when the bullies jump on, the brothers quickly jump off and start spinning it around. They don't realise Mr. T is helping them spin it, so they all briefly think they're a lot stronger than they realised when it spins around very fast and the bullies end up all dazed and defeated.
Theodore: I feel almost as strong as Mr. T!
Mr. T: Nobody's as strong as-
Mr. T and the chipmunks: Mr. T!
Mr. T tells the chipmunks he's proud of them, and the bullies, intimidated by Mr. T, promise never to bully anyone again. And to buy all of them milkshakes. I find it really funny that the typical kind of "don't pick on people" moral is completely at odds with the fact that the bullies are only stopping because someone even tougher than them is around. Oh well.
The last scene of this segment is the chipmunks returning the watch to Dave unharmed, with him having no idea of the adventure they've been through, and then Theodore dropping the watch and Dave thankfully catching it. If you feel sorry for Theodore after this segment, just wait until we get through the next one!
The second segment is "The Chipettes". Dave is driving the tour bus after a long Chipmunks tour, only to find a hotel advertising that "The Chipmunks" will be playing there - he doesn't remember booking a concert there, but decides he must have, because their name is there. I wouldn't trust a random sign to know more about my plans than I do!
In the hotel, the chipmunks head into the room where "The Chipmunks" are staying, only to find three female chipmunks already in the (singular) bed! Yes, this trio are also a band called "The Chipmunks", hence the confusion. They're here for their "first American concert" and they are clear counterparts of each of the male Chipmunks, in design and personality - Brittany is the Alvin, Jeanette is the Simon, and Eleanor is the Theodore.
It sounds to me like the boys don't have a leg to stand on in this argument, but they insist that they'll be performing tomorrow instead, and then the two groups race downstairs to take it up with the manager - the boys end up barrelling downstairs in a cleaner's cart, while the girls just take the lift, and they get there at the same time. The main difference in personalities between the groups seems to be that the girls consider themselves to be more refined and higher-class than the boys - when they argue their case to the manager, Brittany refers to the boys as "animals" (what does she think she is, then?). The manager tells them that they will have to share the room as no other rooms are free (because of the concert!), and that he doesn't care which group are the real Chipmunks as long as he gets the best possible concert tomorrow. So both groups make a deal - they'll each perform for the manager tomorrow, he'll decide which group is better, and the winning group gets to perform that night and keep the name "The Chipmunks"!
On the way back to their room, the boys are talking about the deal they've made, and Dave overhears - being the more reasonable one, once he hears there's another group using the name "Chipmunks", he says he'll need to speak to his lawyer! It's funny having the real world consequences of this situation poke their head in while everyone else is operating on cartoon logic.
Then the Chipmunks see their luggage being chucked out of their shared room by the girls, so they take a peek through the room's window to see what the girls are doing in there. Not creepy at all. The girls are practising their song, and the boys are dismayed to learn that they're great! We will have to trust them on that, because, y'know, they just sound like another group of high-pitched chipmunk voices to me. The song is called "We Aim to Please", and I will at least concede that it's catchy.
In the morning (I guess we don't need to wonder about how the sleeping arrangements ended up), the two sets of Chipmunks have split the room in half 50-50. Obviously, it's not fair - the bathroom is on the boys' side and all the food is on the girls' side. There are also signs up labelling the girls as "The Chipmunks" and the boys as "The Real Chipmunks", which is of course making me think of a show we've encountered previously.
Theodore is guarding the bathroom when Brittany wants to get in, but Eleanor lures him away with breakfast. The room breaks out into chaos as Alvin starts banging on the door, Simon and Jeanette fight over a pillow, and Jeanette flies back into Theodore who gets food on Eleanor's face, and she retaliates in kind even though it was an accident. Then Brittany says she won't come out of the bathroom until she's done getting ready because she won't perform while she looks a mess - so when she finally does come out, Alvin is waiting with a blueberry pie, which he splatters her with! Simon and Theodore laugh in a way that sounds like actual chipmunk noises.
The boys decide they must be the only ones performing now, so they start taking their equipment to the stage, and they run into the hotel manager. He lets them know their audition is at 2 o'clock, and asks them to tell the girls theirs is at 1. Back in the room, Jeanette is reluctantly sabotaging the boys' microphones - I assume this was Brittany's plan - and Eleanor has finally finished cleaning up Brittany's hair. They weirdly say that they will have to go back to "Australia" if they don't succeed here - obviously this matches up with them mentioning before that this is their first American concert, but why do they all have American accents if they're supposed to be Australian?
The boys come in and are shocked to see that Brittany's hair has been fixed. Theodore tells the girls about their audition being at 1, but Alvin accuses him of lying to trick them, and tells the girls it's actually at 3. Obviously we know Alvin is the one lying, but the girls believe him, and when Brittany yells at Theodore, it's the most I've felt sorry for Theodore yet!
So we cut to the girls' audition, and if you haven't seen this coming - the boys show up on stage dressed as the girls! It's kind of surprising that we're only up to our second instance of "cross-dressing as a disguise", after Secret Squirrel. They show up late and intentionally sing the song terribly, and the manager quickly tells them he's heard enough. I suppose they got the clothes from the girls' wardrobe while they weren't looking, but where did the wigs come from?
The boys think they hear the girls coming so they quickly escape through the kitchen, Theodore of course stealing some food along the way. Then it's time for the boys' audition - the girls are putting the sabotaged microphones in place and escape before the boys show up. How have they found out when the boys' audition is, if they don't even know when their own is? The boys go on stage, now wearing their own outfits, but Theodore is still wearing the Eleanor wig, and Alvin quickly takes it off him and throws it away. That was like an hour ago! How had he not realised in that time? The boys sing but it all comes out as a croak thanks to the sabotage. Their song doesn't appear elsewhere in this episode so I don't know how it's meant to sound.
The manager comments about how terrible both acts have been, and then the girls jump out of hiding to object that they haven't sung yet, and Jeanette finds Theodore's wig and realises what happened. Simon is similarly the one to realise what has happened to the microphones. The manager says that it was a difficult choice but he wants the girls to perform - I have no idea what on Earth he's basing that decision on, though! Then Dave shows up to tell the boys the good news from the lawyer, that they do in fact have the right to the name "Chipmunks" - but of course, as per the deal, the girls have now won it anyway.
So now it's that evening and the girls are preparing for the concert. And the boys are still around too for some reason. Tensions among the girls seem to be high - Brittany is shouting at everyone, Jeanette dejectedly tries to sit on a chair and misses, and Eleanor...
Theodore: I eat when I'm nervous too!
Eleanor: Who says I'm nervous?
Theodore: You're eating the plastic fruit!
I had to include the gif of Eleanor's reaction to that, because it's the most expressive shot of the episode and I love it.
It's showtime, and the girls go on stage, and immediately the crowd start booing and yelling things like "You're not the Chipmunks!" and "Where's Alvin?" See, this is how famous Alvin's Chipmunks are meant to be, which is why the first segment felt weird for not treating them that way. The boys save the day by rushing onto the stage, causing cheers:
Alvin: Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to do a song with our friends, the... uh...
Brittany [whispering]: The Chipettes!
Alvin: The Chipettes!
Finally the prophecy of the episode title is fulfilled. They all sing "We Aim to Please" together - I'm not sure if the audio is any different from when it was just meant to be the Chipettes singing alone, as the lower-pitched harmony line that you might expect to be the boys was already there, and really they all just sound like chipmunk voices.
My final conclusion? The show isn't as good as I remembered it being - that's nostalgia for you - but I did like the second segment a lot more than the first one.